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How could they?

Let me start with this - My dad raped me when I was 14.

It was my new years resolution to tell my family about it this year. So, one by one starting with my mom, I told them.

Can you guess what EACH ONE of them said?

"I had a feeling..."

If they had a "feeling", then how come none of them said anything? How come no one asked me about it? MY MOTHER said she "had a feeling" but NEVER said a word.

WTF!!!!!!

They are supposed to be my family...How could they just turn their heads like that???

 
CarolynBarnett

Asked by CarolynBarnett at 8:39 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Good for you to be able to let that secret out. It's never easy. We don't know how people will react. I waited 34 yrs to tell anyone. I'm sorry they didn't comfort you when you needed it the most but find the good now. They know. They can be supportive now. Remember that no one wants to face the possibility of that really happening so denial can be a comfortable place for them. Forgive them just like you should forgive him to relieve yourself of the burden of what happened. Forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you to find peace of mind. Hugs.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:21 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • i'm so sorry that your family responded an a careless way.thats why so many young girls are afraid to tell bc they seem to expect that kind of reaction.may i ask why did you wait to tell?is your dad still around?
    mom231child8

    Answer by mom231child8 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Sorry that that had to happen to you, I hear so many stories today, that if I should ever even suspect that happening to my children thay would never be alone with that person again. My FIL is a little shady, and even though it has never come up, he would never be alone with my kids. I don't understand people like that.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Response to Mom231:

    yes my dad is still around. I haven't spoken to him since July 3rd 2008. Neither of us ever acknowledged what happened, until one day during an argument he told me "You have every right to hate me and you know it". I went home and pondered that for a while, and decided he was right, and that I never wanted to see him again or have him in my daughters life.

    I told my 2 best friends one night, a couple months after it happened, and they didn't believe me. They said that if that had happened, that I would have told them right away. I never told anyone again until I met my SO when I was 19 and I told him. He was the only one until recently.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 8:45 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I am sorry to hear that. I was molested by my mom's brother when I was 7. She didn't do anything about it and charges were never pressed. My younger brother told me that my mom said that she thinks that I am lying....go figure...fuck em is what I say.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 8:53 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I have also told everyone in my family that if they touch any of my children that I will personally shoot them in the head...I mean it and I have a gun and a couple shot guns at home. No one messes with my kids and gets away with it. I will claim insanity if I have to...don't care
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 8:55 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Wow I'm so sorry to hear you went through that. It's funny how family can pretend to be all good and they love you they care, but when you bring up a issue it's just the opposite. For me my family is emotionally damaging and draining. And I'm determined to not let my kids be in that mess. They can't seem to understand. Oh well. We have to live our lives now and leave those who can't support us behind. Best wishes to you.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 9:57 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I'm sorry I hope you really read my comment because this has happened to me.. exactly. My sister was not 'raped' perse, but she was molested very badly by my biological dad. Along with that came neglect also. I remember being 3 yrs old and me and my older sister would ride sleds down our stairs in our house at 1 in the afternoon while ill neglectful dope addict sick father would sleep in. No food, no water, nobody there to change our clothes or bathe us, for days. IT was obvious to others that me and my sister were molested because my sister would do strange things (TMI, sorry) like masterbate at 5 years old. There is no way a 5 year old can know about that without being taught in the sickest ways. IT finally came out when my sister was 12, and everyone said they felt something was different.. Its not that they dont care. parents would never want this to happen to their children and they block it out, denial. cont.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • cont.2. THe slightest chance they may have been scared that they were wrong and didn't want to cause you any embarrassment. IT's okay. I'm sorry you had to experience this, it changes all aspects of your life, it really does, everything you do, the way you react to things and people in general, let alone men. I have horrible memories and I was only 3 years oold.. must have been horrible for you. I really hope that you are able to talk to someone about these things. much love to you.
    MickeysMom19

    Answer by MickeysMom19 at 10:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Gosh I have never been through anything like this in my life thank god!! but hearing your stories has honasly made me cry sitting here reading this!! And i am with you WORRIEDMOMMY600 if anyone ever ever ever EVER touched my kids they would be dead with out a doubt!!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:11 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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