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Hubby spanks son too hard...

Well my DS was being really bad. Kicking,screaming, biting and generally freaking out over the fact that he couldn't have something he wanted; my husband had him and he got overwhelmed and he spanked him really hard. Now I don't have a problem with spanking in gerneral but he left welps on his leg in the shape of a hand. I know he didn't mean to and hubby felt really bad afterwards. He was genuienally(sp) upset. Hubby apologized to me and son.

But I just wonder, had any other husbands done this? How did you handle it? I'm upset but not sure if I should really blame hubby...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • It's done, it's over and I bet your son will think twice the next time he wants to act like that.

    Let it go and get over it. He apologized already. Why dwell on it and make it worse than it already was?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • ugh... my husband has done this several times. My husband and I agreed before DS was born that we would spank, but not out of anger. But it seems that DH spanks DS for EVERYTHING... and unreasonably hard. Maybe your husband just got overwhelmed and a little angry and lost control of the moment. It happens to the best of us... he apologized, which is great. My DH still thinks it's ok for what he does.
    mommabeth15

    Answer by mommabeth15 at 10:30 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • i left marks on my DD butt b/c she smacked me in the face and shes almost 4... my husband spanks but he dont much b/c he's got that scary voice the kids mind him lol
    Armywife510

    Answer by Armywife510 at 10:31 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Once I was in the store and my DS bit me really hard and I forgot where I was and smacked him in the face. I DO NOT spank him anywhere except his butt, but in that moment of pain, I found the only open skin and went for it. It took 2 seconds from bite to smack in the face... I reacted pretty fast lol. Needless to say, I felt horrible!
    mommabeth15

    Answer by mommabeth15 at 10:35 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Of course your hubby feels bad-he lost his temper and struck out in anger. Never a good idea.

    Maybe you and he can make a decision to send your son to his room for a cooling off period for the parent, so discipline will be made with control.

    My mom used to tell me to go to my room and get ready for a spanking. I tell you the waiting was the worse part of the discipline!

    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 10:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I think as a parent we have all gotten overwhelmed and done something we wished we hadnt. I will admit to screaming at my oldest daughter to "just shut the hell up". I was horrified with myself. I will never forget the look on her face and she did that gasping crying thing. I was heartbroken.........I never did it again, because as and adult I knew I had a "breaking point" and before it got to that point I needed to change directions immediatly. Men lol dont seem to remember the breaking point till its to late. If this continue's I would have a serious sit down with him and tell him that when he feels himself getting to the overwhelmed stage to leave the situation immediatly. That hitting a child till they welt up everytime you lose control, is abuse. And yes it is abuse. There is a big difference in spanking and leaving welts. I do understand his lack of control......but your son doesnt.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • i would make a new rule, hubby isnt allowed to spank ever again... end of story, if he left a mark again i would call csb on him myself, i wouldnt allow it, that is abusive.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:42 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • He wasn't being abusive., That I KNOW. He loves our son. Have you not ever overreacted with your kid AmaliaD?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I get really overwhelmed sometimes with my son, and i dont even believe in spanking. I just get really tired and he wont go to bed, he's 2. I have spanked to the point that there is a red hand mark.. and i feel horrible horrible. I tell myself I will never do it again.. and he will cry and cry and hug me and its the worst feeling in the world and i am seeking counseling to help me cope with my anger and not act out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • just talk with him on maybe doing some deep breath counting, or when you see that he may be getting futerated, step in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

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