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i need help

ok me and my fiance have been together 3 years now and now that i have had our little boy he thinks im always fussing at him and nagging but i cant get him to understand.we are not together right now cause he will not have anything to do with his son and i dont understand why at first he would do anything but now he want.my son is a month old now and i dont now what to do. im confussed and its like he dont want us any more. what do i say to him to help my relationship out. theres more to the storie but to long

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • tell him the TRUTH
    don't be accusing. start the convo by saying I feel like ______ because ______
    NEVER start a convo by you dont do ____ see the difference?
    kaysha

    Answer by kaysha at 11:19 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Just hang in there, Sweetie. Your son is only a month old. It's going to be a long road, but your son will be 6 months old, then a year then 18 months, then he'll hit his terrible twos. Before you know it he'll be in kindergarten. What I am trying to say is, hopefully, his daddy will be in his life to love and guide him through. But sometimes they don't get it till the boy is older. Just be patient and try not to nag him. Let him know how you feel, and be as sweet as you can. Eventually he will come around.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 11:47 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I'm sorry you are going through this. Your fiance's behavor is quite normal. Although it might be normal, it is -not- fair. My fiance did the same thing, and I ended up moving to my moms house for almost five months. I suppose that gave him a wake-up call and made him realize how much he missed me and his son. But as my son got older, he got more involved. I've noticed that if you correct every single thing they do, they tend to throw the towel and let you do all the work. Try praising him more. Assign him with tasks, such as bathing the baby, going out for walks with the baby, feeding the baby his nighttime bottle, etc. It'll make him feel more involved and help them bond. Overall, it is important for you to tell him how you feel, and how important his involvement is to you and his child.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 11:47 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • Most times men are not very interested in babies that small. They are afraid to "break" the baby. They are also not interested in the pee-poop-cry-eat-sleep thing. Not all men enjoy cuddling a baby. Once the baby is old enough to play and intereact, things usually get better.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 11:49 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • bump
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 1:31 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Agreed. Men don't know what to do with little babies but let the babies start to crawl and become mobile the men go gahgah. Now the playtime starts for Daddies. Call him and tell him you are sorry the way you handled things. Let him know you understand his distance from the baby. Trust us that will get better. Sometimes men just don't know what to do. Let him know you miss him very much. Remember don't open up with an arguement. Your hormones are off the chart right now and each day they will get better. Take it easy on him and yourself. Tell him how much he means to you but don't follow it up with a "you don't do this or that"
    Honestly one of the biggest things that can help a marriage is love and a LOT of laughter. Learn to laugh together and you will love together.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:55 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • bump
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 12:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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