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I just don't know what to do anymore!

My husband always keeps insisting on hanging out with this older woman at the bar. She is possibly in her late 40s to mid 50s and still acts like she's 22! She seems like she's occasionally on something and she's gets hammered pretty much every night; maybe she gets a couple nights off during the week, but I haven't seen that yet. When I am around though, she's very fidgety and doesn't look me in the eye and when our son is around; she's in a rush to get out. When he is out with out me, and I walk into the bar unannounced; they almost immediately split apart and act like they weren't around each other. My husband is 37 and I am 23. He makes me feel like I AM being immature for him so he gets away to 'hang out' with this other woman.
THEN when I confront him about how uncomfortable I am with this, THATS when he tells me I'm being crazy, it's all in my head and acting totally immature.....He's goin to hang out with her tonight


Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Mar. 25, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Even if there is nothing physical going on between the two of them, it sounds like they're having an emotional affair which, in my book is still cheating and COULD lead to the physical variety.Not only that, but he needs to discuss his problems with you. Bringing an outsider's opinions into your relationship will not help, it will only cause trouble.Ask him why he prefers hanging out with her rather than being with you and his son. If he can't give you any solid reason, then tell him that he is YOUR husband, not hers, but any time he wants to change that status, to just let you know. Then follow through.

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 11:37 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I would reconsider this relationship. Get firm with him about your feelings. You are not crazy. I think it is completely inappropriate for him to be hanging out often with another woman at a bar, friends or not.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:20 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • He can't treat you like this unless you let him. What he is doing is not acceptable, so don't accept it. Stand up to him and tell him you are not doing this or playing his game anymore.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:22 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I would try to be there every single night he is. Go with him every night you can. See what happpens.

    (I agree, it is totally inapproriate behavior for him)

    Answer by Kiter at 11:25 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • I have to ask why your son is ever in the bar?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • This is all im gonna say being a cheater once myself!!! when i told my husband and bf's that its all in their head and they were crazy THATS WHEN IT WAS REALLY GOING ON!! Honastly and im sorry to be the bearer of bad news but id bet my right tit that something is going on with them!! go and ask her what the hell is going on!! go over his head and tell her she better tell you the truth or she wont live to speak the truth again!! go to her not him!! and i wouldnt belive a word he said!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:46 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • for some reason men his age seem to feel very comfortable talking with we older women. Not sure why. I have lots of guys his age talk to me but I'm not messing with them. We just laugh and take life easy. Maybe home life is stressful with bills and everyday stuff. Talk to her and not him. I know I'd respect it if someone's wife told me they felt left out like that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 PM on Mar. 25, 2009

  • The fact that you bring your son in a bar leads me to think you are in a rural area...I'm guessing because I'm in a rural are and people don't mind doing this...I wasn't raised here so when I see this, I just accept it for what it is..
    Secondly sounds like my neighbor is having a thing with your husband....ok it's not her but she is the type...
    Also men feel they belong in a bar and not their hubby tells me that all the time that married women do not belong in bars and if I showed him this post he would probably say that the 2 are guilty of something and you shouldn't be in the bar anyway.
    Just throwing out my thoughts...but yeah the woman is ashamed of something might not be that she did anything sexual..just maybe she was talking about you and feels sheepish about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • sounds like maybe more is going on.. but thats just me..

    Answer by miss_nevin at 1:07 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • i was wondering about your son too, being in a bar. but i do agree he is totally being inappropriate and u have every right to question his judgement about how he is acting. sounds as if he is trying too hard to blame his inappropriate behavior on u. something that smells fishy usually is. most definately something more is going on. gl

    Answer by emily1234 at 1:26 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

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