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Honest reactions please...

Ok, here's the situation; an ex of mine from a looong time ago (10 years or so) have been friends for a few years now, strictly platonic never going to be more. We live in seperate states, he's been married for about 3 years now and I've just started a family with my DF. Our friendship has always been great, even his wife and I have become friends. Well the other day he sent me a message online and called me "hun" which I usually ignore because it just doesn't mean anything, but DF saw it and got a little upset, so I asked my friend not to call me that anymore (at first I thought it was his wife because she calls everyone "hun" or "sweetie") because it bothered my DF and I figured it was no big deal. Well the friend got a little upset because he's called me that for years. I would rather keep DF happy by asking this guy not to use pet names, because I can see where he would be uncomfortable, did I do the right thing?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Actually, I think you did the right thing. You strengthened your bond with your DF which should be beneficial to you later. Friends come and go, hopefully DF will be there a lot longer. Good job respecting his need for boundaries with your friend. And if you need to tell the friend that. Tell him that you are just establishing a bit of a boundery to show respect for your relationship. NO harm, NO foul done.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 3:08 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • yes

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I call everyone hun also, it doesn't upset my husband. It would if others called me hun. I would keep (don't know what df means) but keep him happy.

    Answer by coutterhill at 2:14 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • DF means dear fiance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think your request is valid, but perhaps your friend feels misunderstood and wants validation that you know that he doesn't mean anything by it and may do it accidently as a habit, but your df is haven't some insecurities that need to be respected, be sure to let old friend know he is not wrong, just that he need to work on curbing this habit since it triggers discomfort in your partner.

    Answer by Imamom4sure at 2:18 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yes when you get ingaged friends need to understand things will change to a degree. He can come up with some thing new that is not endearing and every one is happy.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:38 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think your boyfriend is getting a little over excited about it. It's just being called hon, not a big deal.

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:51 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I dont think you did the wrong thing, I can see where your DF would be upset because i am that kind of person too. But my hubby calls every from high school hun and i just got used to it. when we first met...he said "hi hunny" and we didnt even know each other. I would just explaine to your DF that it means nothing, but you have asked him not to call you that anymore. And explaine to your friend, that it just upset your DF because it kind of came from no where to him, and that you arent saying the friendship is over, but to just call you by your name.

    Answer by babymaddy at 3:38 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • i dont think its a big deal. but you have to respect your man. would you mind it if the tables were turned..

    Answer by babymomma4 at 4:03 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I agree with everyone else.. you did the right thing. I'm sure it was an innocent thing but it bugs me when anyone calls my hubby by those names that I feel should be reserved for that someone special in your life, like hon, honey, babe, baby, darling, sweetie, and so on.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:00 AM on Mar. 26, 2009