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Is There A Problem With Our Sex Life?

Well Me And My Husband Have Been Together For 3yrs Now And In The Beginning The Sex Was Awesome But Now After Having The Baby It Just Seem To Have Faded Away. He Wants To Have Sex When I'm Not In The Mood And When I Tell Him No He Gets Upset And Tells Me That I've Lost Interest In Him. What Should I Do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • sounds like mommy-hood. I honestly think the more you do it the more you will want it because I am sort of in the same boat. I never want to but once I do I am like jeeze why didnt I do this before and then he has to beg me into it again the next time lol. Spice it up....it always helps...let baby go away with a family member for the day.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 4:32 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • It takes a while for the new baby syndrome to wear off. Don't know about everyone else but my mind was on the baby no matter what I was doing so it wasn't too much fun for me to have sex, then it got to where it felt nice but I still couldn't get in to it because my ears were still too busy listening for the baby to cry or stop breathing... send the baby with a family member or friend for a few hours and see if you're more relaxed and can get in the mood. If you're like me tho you'll miss the little one so much you still won't be able to enjoy lol It takes some time for your mind and body to get back to the way it was, well as close as it can get anyway.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:56 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • you should have sex with your husband, it's healthy for the relationship, and it's one of the most important things. It's the only thing you and your have husband have together that no one else can do. Even if you are not in the mood, get into it more, once you start doing it, you'll get into it more. Sex is a big deal. If your just being parents and paying the bills, things will get boring. Sex is a powerful thing!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • What your going through is normal. We have 2 kids and I have gone through that with both of them at some point after they were born. I would suggest having sex with your husband even when you dont feel like it some times. You'll be surprised how much it helps the both of you.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:38 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Sounds normal to me. This happens a lot after kids come into a relationship. Reassure your husband that you still find him attractive but, most times, that has nothing to do with why a woman loses her sex drive. We, as moms, are generally more stressed, tired, exhausted after having children... all can block our desire for sex. Sit down with your hubby and tell him how you are feeling (tired, stressed, etc) and that it is interfereing with your desire for sex, but it is NOT him! See if you all can come to an agreement. It's different for every marriage. You shouldn't cut him off from sex but he should respect your wishes/feelings as well. No one likes to have sex when they aren't in the mood but sometimes, unfortunately, as women we must. It's not fair but that is part of being a woman. Try talking to your husband, maybe once a week you all have sex or something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • this IS normal, but there are secret ways out of it...
    If you think "tonight" is going to be a goodie night, try to put yourself in the mood before hand.
    We all have fantasies... as you are doing chores, or just go through your routine, think about some fun sexy encounter... get into it, imagine being touched your favourite way... having done to you the things you like the most.
    It may be cheating in a way,
    but if you DO still have passion for the love you share, this little boost can repair some heavy damage that motherhood takes away from our sex drive...
    he don't have to know where your passion came from, as long as you share it with him.
    stillfatmama

    Answer by stillfatmama at 10:08 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • YOU HAVE THE CASE OF THE MOMMY SYNDROME, IT HAPPENS TO MOST OF US, TRY AND EXPLAIN IT TO HIM TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO COME UP WITH NEW WAYS TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:33 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I'm a firm believer in making sure your man is pleased. I'm not always in the mood, but I never refuse some sort of pleasure for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • KEEP HAVING SEX!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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