Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do you think other moms judge my autistic child before getting to know him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:35 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • A lot of "moms" like that believe its your fault....that the reason he is austistic is because of you. Its not I know but still. There not quite aware of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Because you can't look at a kid and know he's autistic. Autism doesn't have a "look" so they judge his behaviors and then the mom because the behavior isn't "corrected" the way they think it should be corrected.

    And then when you tell them he's autistic, you have to deal with the looks of pity.
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 6:19 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • autictic kids "seem" like brats unless you know what to look for some autistic kids act in ways that helathy kids do only autistic kids are not being bratty they are in the grasp of a horrble desise so if you dont know kids have a problem then you just think omg what a brat and alot of autistic kids have problems with eye contact and humas naturaly tend to want eye contact and feal neagtivly twards people who dont give it eaven if in your sons case its cause he cant
    jajamama

    Answer by jajamama at 7:07 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I have YET to meet an autistic kid who seemed like a brat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I don't know that I agree with this brat theory. My brother is autistic and is rather laid back. He is quite and to himself for the most part, of course, he is 14 so he is a little man now. When he was younger he was a ball of energy and I would equate him to speedy gonzales. As someone said before autism doesn't have aa look so people judge. Frankly, its the judgement that I tae issue with. My brother is not disadvantaged because of autism....it makes him all the more special. I wish you all the best, things will get easier.
    Ladyhardison

    Answer by Ladyhardison at 9:52 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • As the mom of a son with autism it's becasue other moms are uneducated about what autism is. They think rainman and wonder why your child isn't like that. Well autism is a big spectrum and some kids have other diagnosis on top of the base autism so if I have to take my charming looks like any other 14 year old out of the store and he's acting like a 6 year old please stop staring and just go on with your business or ask me if you can help but either way I'm not a bad mom and I'm doing my best in a tough situation.
    t3dragonflies

    Answer by t3dragonflies at 10:59 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I get the same thing with my son who has PDD-NOS. I couldn't even begin to think of all the things that people have said, but here are a few...

    "He'll speak when YOU stop talking for him" "Just don't let him have food or drink until he asks for it... he'll speak in no time" (he didn't speak until he was 3 1/2).

    "What's wrong with parents these days not teaching their kids to look a person in the eye and say hello!" (Well, that was a relative on my hubby's side and he has been paid back for that remark with my daughter who is more than willing to look him in the eye and then talk to him... and talk... and talk... and talk... LOL).

    And just RUDE comments about his flapping and other stims.

    If they would just get to know the sweet, smart, FUNNY kid that he is they would think differently. He's not dumb... he knows when someone's looking at him with disdain or disapproval and he shuts down around them the most. Their loss!
    SahmTam

    Answer by SahmTam at 11:05 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • cafepress.com has some GREAT t-shirts and stuff with cool/funny/serious saying on them about ASD.

    I like the one that says something to the effect of "My son is autistic, what's YOUR excuse?"

    LOL
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 12:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I'm sorry. I think it's a basic human trait. We think less of someone we think is different. Not everybody no but the majority. And it's sad.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 4:31 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • autism is not a"horrible disease" we like to call it a disorder.I take offense to that term.
    TMJ121099

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 7:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN