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Doe sthe BM cut you down???? what do you do?

My husband has told her to respect me as a step mom, I've been around for a long time. I've fought with her, I've been nice to her, I've tried to eliminate myself that has anything to do with her, except my step mom role. She doesn't repect me as a step mom and all the things I do as a mom. She always sends rude emails telling me I am like the evil step mom from Cinderella, I should have nothing to do with her son, no say. I'm sure I have my faults and I can except that; no one is perect but I am tired of her cutting me down, saying all this mean shit to me. By any means I am not a bad mom. I do alot for my kids. She's the one who put herself in the position to only have him 3 weekends a month. My husband tells me not to feed into her emails and not to reply, but I've had enough, why should she be able to cut me down and I can't stand up for myself? Everythings "my fault". I'm about to snap.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Im telling you now for the sake of your mental health and marriage change your email if thats how she is contacting you. Have your husband change his as well if he is willing. If she starts calling with rudeness change your number to an unlisted one, there is nothing in the court paperwork to say that she has to vbe able to call your home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Change your email, and tell her to deal directly with your husband.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:24 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yes change your email, I agree.
    Tell hubby to cut that bitch down to size and tell him to tell her that neither he nor yourself
    will tolerate her disrespect anymore..
    and totally stick to that...
    just have him talk to her regarding the children and that is that..

    Answer by Dannee at 9:43 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • please change your email!!!!!

    Listen, people like that don't understand HOW to bring themselves up without putting down others... imagine what her poor son goes through on those 3 weekends a month...

    I have to agree with the hubs on this one... if your personal motherly standard is not in jeopardy, then just try to let what she says roll off your back,like the proverbial water off a ducks ass.

    I know it's hard to take it over and over...but it's an oversite of the frontal lobe, and even flipping out on her, won't trigger Mr frontal lobe to do it's job...she feels scared, alone, and has no way for people to understand unless she's trying to drag them down with her..... iuf anything, try to feel pity for her, and all her troubles. But anger and retaliation won't change her a penny's worth of goodness.

    Answer by stillfatmama at 9:48 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • try to set a good example now, so someone won't be pointing a finger an using you for a bad example later.

    Answer by stillfatmama at 9:51 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Wow! I feel you.. Changing your email and number is right to do. But this is what I did, Me, my SO and my kids father, and his wife. We all sit down to handle differences without the kids being present. Talk it out and let them know whats up. I had this same problem with my SO and my kids father. Us women got alone find and I like her matter fact and I think he pick the right one. It was us that got this together and had them to talk to eachothers and find out whats the problems.
    In the end everything went find and now they are really cool with each others. ps we can finally have a family get together.

    Answer by lovlyB at 10:24 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I agree change the number, but most states legally the ncp gets a home address and phone number. Get caller ID, don't answer.

    Answer by Praying at 12:24 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I'm sorry but I partly agree with her. You should have no say. He isn't your child. If it's her fault that the father has custody then she shouldn't be a bitch about it to you. But she is right. His father should be dealing with his discipline and what ever else. She should straighten out her life and get her child back.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 12:53 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • what do you mean "get her child back", dad can't have custody of him??? My husband and I make all decisions with all our children, step or not. He does do everything with the BM now. She does need to respect me as a step mother, I play a huge role in life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Sounds like you need to respect her as the real mother. You are way overstepping your boundries. And are allowing him to do the same with your children. You will never be his mother so stop trying. Deal with your own and let him deal with his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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