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Do you think a 9 year old should be holding his

fork the right way?!?!?!? I am constantly reminding him to hold his the right way, he holds his like he's riding a bike! This is part of table manners???!!!???? He always says, well I don't have to do it at my moms house!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (16)
  • I would think he should hold it the right way by now. Is there a possibility that he some kind of undiagnosed disability or something that this is a symptom of? If not, then I guess it's time to just put your foot down and pull the "I don't care what you do there, you'll do it the right way here" card on him.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:41 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My 8 year old does that sometimes too. I ask him "why are you holding your fork like that" he says that it is easier. He's left handed. When I ask him he usually holds it the right way afterwards.

    Answer by FG2005 at 8:47 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My son is 13 and still holds his fork goofy sometimes. I think it's a "boy thing" honestly. Just encourage him to be "proper" and be nice about it. He'll get it eventually.

    Answer by jenettyshome at 9:33 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Really, what is the big deal if a kid holds a fork or spoon a different way? It isn't poor table manners, it could be about control. Maybe it's easier for him to use the utensil they way he is holding it? I hold my spoon, as my dad says, like a shovel. Does that mean I have poor table manners? NO, I have very good table manners. Leave the kid be, there are so many bigger issues that you will be dealing with, why pick a battle about how he holds a utensil? Pick your battles, Mom.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:44 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My 10 yo dd does that from time to time.Cutting her meat on the back side of her fork is tough for her to do. I think a lot of the problem is at school lunch. They have so... many (most) foods that they just have to pick up to eat not using forks, spoons. We have to get after her some because she wants to do that w/some foods that we think shouldn't be eaten that way. For instance the other evening she picked up a meat ball and started to chomp on it off the fork. We just said, put it on your plate and cut it. She said, we don't have to do that at school. I said "you aren't at school, you are at our table". If it's not a big deal, we just let her pick things up, just depends how messy.

    Answer by cat4458 at 10:55 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • What the hell does holding a fork have to do with riding a bike? I'm not getting something about this image.

    I agree, pick your battles and be glad he's using a fork.

    Answer by roachiesmom at 3:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • If he's been reminded and knows how to hold the fork correctly and knows you expect him to hold his fork correctly, he's being disrespectful by continuing to hold his fork incorrectly. I think that once the issue of being respectful is corrected, the fork problem will disappear.

    Answer by May-20 at 3:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Who cares how he holds his fork?
    He's holding it how it's obviously most comfortable and secure for him.
    It has nothing to do with table manners.

    You'll be complaining a lot MORE if you try to force him to hold it in a way that's awkward for him, making him spill food and make screeching sounds on the plate.

    Answer by RanaAurora at 4:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • when I say riding a bike, I mean like the way you hold a bike handle. I could say like the other mom and say shovel, but that would mean using two hands, are you picturing that? He does hold it the way we ask, he may need to be reminded, if your daughter or son was going to the bathroom but not wiping, would you say atleast they're going on the tiolet? Or how about he's wiping his face with his shirt, would you say, atleast he's wiping his mouth?? No, he's supposed to use a fork and there is a proper way to it hold like a young man, not a 4 year old.

    It is bad table manners.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Good Luck on making this decision. I have a 13 year old son who is left handed that will eat this way sometimes. It is easier on the wrist for him. If I ask him he changes this and will revert to the traditional way. You may be dealing with something more physical than disobiedience. If you use a for in the "bike method" there is less movement in the wrist which may be fatigued from typing, writing and playing sports. I would suggest ask him why he does this. He might not even know he is doing it until you point it out.

    Also, here is how I see it. There are battles I will battle with my children because there is morals, values and safety at risk. Do an internal check with yourself on why this is important to you. Is it a belief from your childhood and is this a battle you want to choose to fight to win?

    I am sure you are a great mom and will make the right choice for you and you son.


    Answer by LegacyKimberley at 5:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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