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Adult child moved out, age 40+ with 3 + of her adult children and 2 dogs.

Now she can't pay the rent and I can't let her move back in. Advice please.

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Enolihi

Asked by Enolihi at 9:55 AM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • She needs to seek other means of assistance or find another job so that she can take care of her bills. Why did she move out when she can't take care of the responsibilities that come with that? That is something that I would ask her. I wish you luck and stand your ground.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:57 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Sometimes you have to just let them work it out and grow up. She needs to learn responsiblity. Does she have a disability, make poor money choices, got laid off? what happened?
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:58 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I agree with the first two moms. I mean really if you couldnt afford it she could have come to you and let you know something and this way she could have work on another place or find more work and you would have no surpises. But she didnt and all I have to say is that you stand your ground and let her become the woman and mother. She must learn and shell be okay..
    lovlyB

    Answer by lovlyB at 10:12 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Tell her to go down to the welfare office. See if she can get some help from them.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:19 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Are you saying your daughter is an adult and she has three adult children of her own plus that daughter has 2 dogs and they all used to live with you and she needs help again? Which ever way it is if she's a single mom with or with out dependents to care for she should look up her county's displaced home makers group. We had a family member similar and he told me the best thing that we did for him was to finally finally say no more money help unless all bills laid out in front of us to be gone over. We did not take over bills, he paid bills but they were no longer hidden. I also highly suggest for your daughter through your county a displaced homemaker group. She or you should call United Way and your county.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Cut the cord woman. Your daughter is an adult and she should act like one. I know that times are though...as they are for everyone right now...but she needs to finally take care of herself. Get a job waitressing or something. If her adult children are living with her, then they need to pitch in as well...get jobs to help pay the rent. Man, what in the world is going on these days??

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Thank you all. My daughter moved out because I made her do it. I had to help her with the rent for a couple of months just to get her out. She worked, but now doesn't because she is severely depressed and recently acquired a diabetic condition accompanied with MRSA (comes and goes). She is under the care of a doctor. Took off too many days at work. Finally quit after 2 reprimands. Her children are lazy. She makes too many excuses for them.

    She isn't coming back to live with me because I just can't handle it. But I needed some morale support. That is why I posed this question.

    I will consider that the advice on the displaced homemaker group. She is currently trying to get welfare but with no dependent children, I don't know how that will work.

    Thank you again for advice. I am open to any more comments if you want to give them.

    Sincerely,

    Enolihi
    Enolihi

    Answer by Enolihi at 2:35 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • The way I figure it there are 4 adults there if all of them got min. paying jobs for they would be making $6.50 X 4= 26 dollars an hour.If each worked 20 hours a week then that would be $520 a week before taxes. Seems to me they ought to be able to do pretty good on meeting bills etc Imagine what kind of $$$$ if they all got 40 hour a week jobs. Time to tell the 4 of them to gett off their butts because now the free ride is over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • She can sign up for govt housing (section 8)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • As hard as it is, let them figure it out by themselves. It only reinforces to them that you don't believe they can do if you always bail them out. Let it get tough and see what their made of.
    Pamq

    Answer by Pamq at 3:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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