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Anyone in this situation before?

So a little background info... My sons father and I split up in July of last year (almost a year now). We've been trying to establish a custody agreement since about August/September-ish time frame of last year. Well my sons father is good to our son but he does have a drinking issue, and I've been saying it for a long time but have never had the proof to back it up, up until last weekend. He was arrested for a DUI, granted, our son was NOT in his custody.. But in my opinion it shows irresponsibility and lack of poor judgment and I could go on and on and on. We are currently doing like a 50/50 custody deal but now that this has happened I am going to try and go for him only getting him every other weekend. But here is the issue, my boyfriend, whom I've been dating for about 6 months or so is absolutely wonderful to my and my son. He loves my son just as he was his own and is great, I can't stress enough how....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • good he is to the two of us. But two years ago he, himself had a DUI. Now, he has not had a drink SINCE then, and he has NEVER drank in front of me nor my son (I'm not a drinker). But my worry is that when/if we do go to court, my ex is going to try and find anything he can to use to work against me and I wanted to know if any of you ladies have ever dealt with this and if so how it potentially affected the situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yes, it could come up especially if your ex's lawyer knows his stuff. Boyfriend isn't drinking in front of you or your son....father wasn't drinking in front of you or your son.

    His lawyer could try to say you're holding double standards. How do you know what your boyfriend does when you're not around? You'd have to prove he's not drinking at ALL...but it's still a case of "well your ex isn't drinking any longer now, either" so again...double standards.

    Just an outsider's opinion based on what you wrote....
    TiccledBlue

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 1:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I wouldnt take him to court. If he is responsible with your son and good to your son. He deserves to see his son. He should be allowed to live his life how he pleases when his son is not with him. Now, if his son was with him, you might have some ground here, but at this point I don't think you do. The court will only want to change things if there is a change or something that makes it better for the child to stay with one parent over the other. If you would trust him for every other weekend, I can't see why you can't trust him for 50/50. At least he isn't going out while he has your son.

    We have caught my SKs BM out at the bars when she has the kids....
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:19 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Also, my SO has two OWIs from about 3 years or more ago and we still have the kids more than their mom does. I don't believe the OWIs hurt his case any.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I just really want him to get help for his problem. Maybe I'd feel better if he were to enroll in AA classes or something and then I'd feel more at ease. He is good to our son, and I do not think that he would drink around our son but its hard not to worry on the same note, especially since he did get the DUI.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • going from sharing 50-50 with him to every other weekend is a big change..for your son..and your son is whats important here...my daughter lives with me..but her dad gets her 3 weekends outta 5...nakes it confusing ad hard to keep track off...but..it works for us..that way i get weekends and so does he..for every weekend it goes...DAD-MOM-DAD-DAD-MOM...its seems to have been working for us..its tuff..but you can do it!! good luck hun
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:49 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Agree totally with TiccledBlue
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 2:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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