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molestation

My mother had been raped 3 times by the time she was 20. Its really hard for her to talk about. She didnt tell anyone until she was 35. Shes reallly open to me about it. Shes a very emotional person. I love her more than anything. Shes like my best friend. She knows everything. Except one thing. It all started when i was around 6. My brother used to come in my room or have me come in his and he would molest me. He was around 16. At the time i didnt really know it was wrong but when my mo mwould catch me out of my room i would never tell her. My cousin did it to me too. I would always stay the night with my cousin Kim and her brother would always do dirty things no matter how many times i said stop. I want to tell my mom so bad. I dont know what to do. Ive only told my best friend and my fiance. I know have a daughter and every time my brother hold her i just want to take her. It always brings back memories. What should i do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Talk to your mom about it, it may help you feel better and keep your brother away from your daughter if you feel uncomfortable with him around her.
    Stuee

    Answer by Stuee at 1:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I agree, tell your mom. It may even bring you two even closer
    jhj4ever

    Answer by jhj4ever at 1:24 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Talk to your mom about it. Maybe you two should try to go to counseling together? It could help you both. AND KEEP YOUR BROTHER AWAY FROM YOUR DAUGHTER! If he did it to you there is a chance he will do it to her...
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 1:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • First of all, I'd like to invite you to a site that I am a part of, it's called www.pandys.org. It's the only one of it's kind and it's for survivors of rape and molestation. It's a wonderful place to talk and "get things out". I was raped and molested by my father for 8 years, I know how it is...and I know that it's easier to say "SPEAK UP!!" than it is to really do it. I suggest you seek out therapy or help of some sort. Maybe Pandy's can be that bridge for you to get help....both for you and your Mother. My heart goes out to you. Whatever you decide, please know that you are not alone. I am sorry that you endured what you did as a child...no child should ever experience that. I pray the best for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • YOUR BROTHER NEEDS TO BE ARRESTED. AND KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM HIM
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Talk to a rape crisis person. Talking to your mom might push her over the edge. Molestation is a form of sexual assault so you need to speak with a specialist to help you with this. Your mom is probably too fragile to handle it right now without counseling of her own. I'm glad to hear you are not bottling it up. That can eat away at your soul.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • First thing is stop letting your brother be around your child,,and your cosins too.Tell you Parents.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I would be honest withyour mom. She was honest with you about it. And I am sure it is a very hard thing to discuss but I feel it has to be addressed. Be VERY careful with your daughter around your brother. If you don't and you don't speak up about it then it could happen again. I am sure you would hate for that to happen to another person epecially your daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think you should tell her, but you need to be prepared for the fact that she may not believe you. Also, you can do what you want about letting your brother hold your baby, but I would never ever leave the two of them alone for even 30 seconds.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:15 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Call a family conference and confront your brother AND cousin. Air out what your feeling and let them know because of the past, certain restricts will always be in place when it comes down to seeing your daughter. You are the mother and it's your job to protect her. You don't need to justify it. Why I say family conference...because you say it once, everyone hears the same thing and no hidden agendas can get played later by rumor mongering. It will shock and upset everyone. It will no matter if you confront in group or individually.

    Now if you want to pursue legal action against your brother and cousin, I would talk to a lawyer before confronting anyone. I hope you seek counseling for yourself and urge your brother and cousin to seek counseling themselves.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 3:32 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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