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what would you do?

The guy I am pregnant by he doesnt want anything t o do with the baby or me he says he just want to focus on his career and that he doesnt have time for a baby and get rid of it that was about 8 and a half months ago when we first found out I was pregnant and besides his feelings I decided to keep it and go on with my life. So my due date is getting closer and closer and I feel lots of emotions that I didnt really feel until now one side of me tells me to just forget him and leave him alone and focus on the baby and if he doesnt want to be there I cant make him then theres always this other side that says it shouldnt just be me in this by myself he has to be there some way whether he wants or not because we BOTH helped make this baby and how can he could just ignor me and pretend everything is ok and that this never happened and live his life and leave me with the baggage? I feel so used and sad and angry but I love my unborn

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (7)
  • 1 . this thing happens
    2. i woudl just move on do what was best for my baby and me
    3. im sorry but if you love your baby why did you refer to the baby as baggage ? i would never do that .

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • You are lucky he was honest and didn't lead you down a marital path and then leave you. Forget his involvement on being a parent, at least for now. He may change after the baby is born, but don't hope for it. Make him aware, if you ARE going to keep the baby, and ask if he had plans for helping financially. He can be noble and help on his own, or you can tell him you'll contact the courts to do it.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:35 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Im not refering my baby as baggage im sayin evrything that comes with it is such as everthing doctor visits, emotions, the part of felling big and pains coming and going and buying baby stuff and getting everything that baby needs and just haveing to do all this stuff bymyself ..I love my baby we are one I have grown to love this little human and he isnt even here yet so igmage how much i would love him when he gets here.... Thanks you anyways

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I am keeping my baby I told him he knows that I decicded to keep it i was up front with him and that was the only thing that i respected him in was being honest and telling me that he didnt wan t a baby but the way he didi it i didnt respect him. But that was when I was a few weeks pregnant now i am 37 weeks and about to have him I jsut hope that he doesnt think i got rid of it i just want him to know that he does have a baby out here,, i think he knows that i kept it because now i tries reachin and contacting him and he wont return anything no call or nothing. H e just want to ignor me and i want to talk to him before i have to take it up in court because i will..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I'm 17 & so is my bf. He wanted me 2 get pregnant, @ least that what he said. When I found out I was & told him there was no emotion @ all he just said "ok, I have 2 go back 2 work now". As time passed I guess he got more nervous about it & started 2 say horrible horrible things. He told me 2 give him up, he said that he was going 2 knock me down stairs,he said that I had 2 choose between him & the baby, he even said that he was going 2 cut him out of me. I stayed patient & kept trying 2 talk 2 him. I knew in my heart that things would get better. Now I am 2 weeks away from my due date & while I can tell he is still nervous when he says he loves me I ask him if he loves the baby 2 & he says he does. He even buys things 4 him. Ur best bet is 2 not give up. A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant a man becomes a father when he holds his child 4 the 1st time. Erevything happens 4 a reason, it will b ok.

    Answer by Browneyeshch at 3:23 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Well i think a guy becomes a man when he could take care what ever life sends his way because a man could be there phyically and not emotionally and sayin that he becomes a man when he hold his child for the first time isnt all the way true because some have held thier child and have been there but have also coped out and called it quits. A guy could make a baby but it takes a reall men to help raise one. A female isnt a woman when she gets pregnant because any body could carry a baby inside them but it takes a real woman to help take care of it protect it and keep it safe from the bad things in this world because believe it doesnt start when you have sex or get pregnant the real work begans when baby is here and can you deal with that responibilty. Not to cope out or giv up. It takes a real woman to deal with something so strong and a real man to also dealt with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Well Im sorry you have to go through this. All I can say, is to call child support TODAY. and get it ready so that when you have your little bundle of joy, they can test him and then get the dad tested, and he will be helping through child support. He will have the option to have visitation. He can even give up his rights, which will not ALWAYS stop him from paying child support. It will just stop him from being able to take custody if he feels all of a sudden that he wants the baby and not you. I went through something similar a few times. And I'm glad you're not with him anymore, because I'm pregnant now and my fiancee doesn't want the baby. It's MUCH harder being with the father and having them not want your baby. Good luck and if you want to talk just message me =]

    Answer by mommykayti at 4:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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