Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Who started this child support crap?

I mean speaking out for the dads that want to be dads and then you have woman who just want to live off of the child support. I understand the dad has to support the kids but the mother somehow uses it for other things (some woman) not all.

I just feel bad for those dads that want to be there for their kids and those woman some how brainwash their kids...I don't know.
I guess the courts see it this way...they don't look at it as an individual case they just pretty much see one deadbeat dad and assume they are all that way.

How could this be have the dad pay all that he has out of his own pocket and left with nothing to give the woman to support the kids and some money left over for her to do whatever like partying for example. I mean that is like winning the lottery for her. Dads it will alright what comes around goes around.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (57)
  • My bil has this problem and the courts explained it to him the fact that they cant sy what she is suppose to spend it on, and if she does spend it on partying then at least he knew he did it for the right reasons wether she used it for that or not. And they won't allow him to just bring diapers, food, clothes and stuff because she might need the money to pay bills or what not. IT is a sucky system but if you know someone in that position I would encourage him to get custody, that's what my bil is having to do right now.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 3:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I know its crappy. They need to make better child support laws.
    Myself I get $120 a month for my 7 year old daughter. I put it in my bank account & it helps to pay for all the things she needs (which btw $120 a month is only enough to pay for her school lunch once a day...... not much at all compared to what me & my husband pay to take care of her.) when we are a lil better off (come on economy - get better!) we will be using it to set up a savings account for her for college.
    BUT I know of guys who make good money where my husband works who have to pay thousands of dollars a month child support... and most of them the moms wont let them see the kids! Its insane & not fair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Hello statistically only 35 percent of people who are ordered to recieve child support actually recieve it regularly. I did a huge paper on if people paid their child support some children could actually live above the poverty line. So maybe the courts are kind of biased because they only see 35 percent paying regularly? I say people because dads arent the only one who are ordered child support or called dead beats. I feel bad to but if you have a child support obligation sometimes its not the wisest thing to go get married and have more kids and possibly more child support if that marriage ends. I think its wrong if either parent tries to turn the kids against the other parent. I wouldnt think getting child support would be like hitting the lottery.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I get 1,200 a moth for 4 children. I am not partying at all. I am home raising my kids that my ex husband hasnt bothered to visit in 9 years. I spend the kids child support on food, clothes, sport fees, stuff for school ect. I am going to pay my student loans off with the 3 years of alimony he was ordered to pay to me. I dont feel bad what he has put my kids through is terrible. If he was an involved father visited, ect I may not have felt that way. Not all dads are saints having to pay cs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Try paying
    ALIMONY...................................
    and Childsupport.....................................
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:13 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Okmommy
    is that for the whole country or just a state...the 35%???????????????????
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My ex is ordered to pay support and he is not paying any right now. Think that is fair? I only get $172.50 wk for my two kids. If I get it at all, and we are tied up in legal proceedings trying to enforce his support. My current hubby paid 2x as much for his kid. And he helps me with the cost of my kids that child support doesn't cover. ARE YOU A BITTER NEW WIFE? I am on both sides of the fence and btw I am not out partying with my child support.

    SyndiB

    Answer by SyndiB at 3:30 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I am not a single mother and I do not have anyone paying child support so my opinion does NOT come from a biased point of view. It comes from a Social Worker (my profession) point of view.

    Child support serves the purpose to allow whatever parent the child lives with to provide for the child AS IF THEY WERE IN A TWO PARENT HOME. The non-custodian parental contribution is NOT just for diapers, clothes and food for the child. It is for the HOUSEHOLD that the child lives in. The child on a daily basis uses: the utilities, water, mileage on mom's car, gas in mom's car, watches TV, field trips, school classroom contributions, child care, the telephone (to call dad or friends), the food in mom's fridge, uniforms for dance/sports, so on and so forth. The custodian parent pays for all of this and often misses out on things in order to be the SOLE care-taker for the child. Child support is reimbursement for this. (cont.)
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:38 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • (cont.) Child support is based off of what percentage of the father's income the judge/state feels that the child would be receiving on a daily basis IF the mom and dad lived together. It is not "to cover the child's needs only and that's it." You're reimbursing the mom for the work she's doing by herself. If that means there's money for her to get her nails done, I have no problem with that. Spending all of the child support money on utilities, rent, other things the kid uses, field trips, co-pays and whatever else usually goes past what child support provides and the custodian parent almost ALWAYS ends up paying more than the non-custodian parent does. They have no choice. You can't say "oops, I'm out of money, the kid can't eat" they have to feel the kid because the kid lives with them. Meanwhile, dad gets to skip out on the child support bill. Mom doesn't have the option to "skip out" the child has to eat.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • 35 percent was the whole country
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.