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advice to make my husband want me

Iv been married 2 years and i feel like iv been married for 40 or not even my mom has been married for alot of years and she seems to have a very fun sex life which is sad because im 19 and my sex life i feel is very bad i feel like my husband is just not interested in me does anyone else have this problem i try dressing up and those clothes like strippers or different underwear but nothing we just do it and good night hes knocked out. i dont know what to do help. i try not having sex with him see if maby hell start wan5ing me but no luck i cave b4 he does

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I don't know what to tell you as I am in the same boat as you I have been married to my hubby for 5 and a half years and feels like 50 our love live has changed bigtime so sorry I can't help if anything I need some answers myself lol
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 3:28 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Please know that you are NOT the only woman who wants sex more than their man!! Trust me... I am one of them. I used to feel so alone in this issue, b/c our society makes us feel like men want sex all the time, and it's all they ever think about. Come to find out, I am by FAR not the only woman who has a hubby with a low (or lower) sex drive. I have come to understand that this is simply how God made him, and it's not me AT ALL. He loves me dearly and seeks me for all sexual encounters. He has never been into porn and he doesn't masturbate... he just doesn't have a high drive. I've come to understand this about him, and now I've grown to where I APPRECIATE this about him... look at it this way, many other women feel like their man only wants them for sex, because he wants it so much. I'm thankful I don't have to feel that way.
    Have you talked with him about the way you feel? Don't run. many issue take time to resolve!
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 3:30 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • thanks i think love sucks i cant believe im saying this but i think it was alot better when we were just going out even though i hated that because i wasnt aloud to even go to the corner with him and today is our 5 year anniversary of being together and i really want to go out and try and get him i the mood but i just dont know what to do! i hate it he makes me feel ugly when i dont think im to bad i get plenty of unwanted compliments fromother guys they are wanted but from my husband but oh well
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Maybe he's just tired? Many things could be altering his sex drive. It's probably best if you talk this over with him.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I just posted, but I ran out of space. I wanted to offer encouragement... We've been married for nearly 8 years, and things have gotten SO much better! We only have sex about once a week, but we REALLY connect when we come together, and sex is really good!!!
    But, I should also tell you that at one point we went almost a whole year w/out having sex AT ALL. Stay with him. Afterall, you have made promises to him that I know you want to keep! Be patient and IM me if you want to talk more!!!
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 3:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • i have talked to him and he SOMETIMES start to be alittle romantic but then he just forgets and i guess your right now that i know im not the only one i wont answer annonoumsly i just think its so embarrasing to say hewy my husband doesnt want me. im scared that it is me and that hell find someone else.
    chukuku

    Answer by chukuku at 3:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • chuku...
    "i have talked to him and he SOMETIMES start to be alittle romantic but then he just forgets and i guess your right now that i know im not the only one i wont answer annonoumsly i just think its so embarrasing to say hewy my husband doesnt want me. im scared that it is me and that hell find someone else."

    You're not the only one who is scared... I think that as women, we are naturally insecure.. I know I am! I am a follower of Christ, and it is only through Him that I have begun to understand how it truly isn't me!!!
    If your hubby has a naturally low sex drive, then he's even less likely to look somewhere else. Just hang in there! You've only been married 2 years. You have so much learn about him, and he you.
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 3:39 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My DH and I have the same problem so like the second poster said, you are not alone! I used to bug him about it all the time and I think that only made the problem worse. But I have done some little things that have helped recently. First of all, I decided I was going to focus first on me. I have put more energy into taking care of myself. I started exercising again. I bought myself some sexy new clothes and pj's. Sometimes when your hubby sees that you are not so focused on him and have your own interests, it sparks their interest in you again. Also, if you want the sex you do have to be more exciting, take the initiative to make it interesting yourself. Buy a book with seduction ideas...I have a great one called 101 Nights of Great Sex by Laura Corn. It seems unfair, but a lot of men don't really like to think too hard about sex or what they can do to make it better...so for the most part it's up to you.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 3:41 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Thanks very much for your advice i will keep that in mind. i just opened a screen name on aol its Chukukoo
    chukuku

    Answer by chukuku at 3:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • BTW, if you want to talk about it more in detail...feel free to PM me. I'm interested to hear more details about your situation if you feel comfortable talking about it.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 3:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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