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what can i do to help my husband with his problem?

my husband has a drug problem. i really don't know what to do anymore. he wants to stop and asks me to help him get help but i don't know what to do. should i leave him for the safety of my son? i don't know what to do please help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jun. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • This may sound crazy- but seek out community action programs. Believe it or not, they are FREE and they WANT to help you. Call (even anonymously if you want) your local social services department and tell them you'd like information on drug treatment program for your husband. He can go- on a first name only basis- to a support group and counselor that will make a plan and help him to follow through with it. If he REALLY wants to stop- this would be a GREAT way to try and do it.
    Best of luck.

    I wanted to add that leaving your husband can do 1 of 2 things. Either he will clean right up or he will get a ton worse. If he poses no physical harm to you and your child, remember that when you married him you vowed for better or worse. Support him during this tough time, and when you guys come through the other side- you will be rewarded with a stronger marriage.
    MamaCarterof5

    Answer by MamaCarterof5 at 11:08 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • HE DEFINATLEY NEEDS TO GET HELP...OR ELSE YOU NEED TO LEAVE....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • you sholuldnt leave him. if you really love him you should find a way to help him. try going to a drug rehab center if he really wants to quit using drugs.
    smtwngrl_27

    Answer by smtwngrl_27 at 11:15 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • Its easer said than done…. Leave him!
    Maybe if he “looses” his family, it will give him the “wake up call” he needs.
    While separated, go to counseling together… when he proves that his family is MORE important than his drugs, and that he is wheeling to do anything it take to win you back, then you can get back together.
    sara76c

    Answer by sara76c at 11:25 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I have had my fair share of addictions...and there is one thing that I can tell ya for sure...You cannot help him. Only he can help himself. Personally, I would leave until he got help, went through the program and was clean for atleast a year. You can continue to have a relationship with him, but addictions are mean to get over. He will be going through a whole lot and children should not even begin to see how ugly withdrawls and out bursts are. good luck...hang in there
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 11:39 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • As a daughter of drug addicted parents that sometimes sought treatment, I know that it can be painful to try to love someone that is in treatment or is under the influence. It can traumatize a young child and distort their ideals of what a family should be like, which in turn will affect their own family when they grow up. I would suggest that you tell your husband that you need him to seek treatment, not just for him but for all of you and support him in the process by attending meetings and therapy. If he is resistant to seeking treatment or becomes violent at any time, no matter how much you love him and want to be together, you must leave for the safety of your son and his mother. You are all he has and he needs you to be strong and STABLE, no matter what that takes.
    Pogovina

    Answer by Pogovina at 11:14 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • I forgot to mention that there is a huge difference between wanting to stop and actually going through all that it takes to actually stop. By wanting help but not doing what the professionals tell him to do to help himself stop, he is "resisting" treatment.
    Good luck.
    Pogovina

    Answer by Pogovina at 11:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • As a daughter of drug addicted parents that sometimes sought treatment, I know that it can be painful to try to love someone that is in treatment or is under the influence. It can traumatize a young child and distort their ideals of what a family should be like, which in turn will affect their own family when they grow up. I would suggest that you tell your husband that you need him to seek treatment, not just for him but for all of you and support him in the process by attending meetings and therapy. If he is resistant to seeking treatment or becomes violent at any time, no matter how much you love him and want to be together, you must leave for the safety of your son and his mother. You are all he has and he needs you to be strong and STABLE, no matter what that takes.
    Pogovina

    Answer by Pogovina at 11:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2008

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