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How much "ALONE" time do you get?

With family life being sooo buisy theres hardly never enough time to breath, let alone quality time with just my honey and I. I have been married for 9+ yrs and have 3 kids ages 9, 8 and 2. I love my family and we do everything together! I'm 28 and I'm prety young and been with my guy sence I was 17 almost 18. We really never do anything planned without the kids. We really like it that way, however is this good for our marriage? I know we love one another dearly and we are eachothers bff's. My concern is this, I wanta keep it that way , so should we make more planns just the two of us? Everyones always sharing how they do things just the two of them,friends that are also married. Will this have long term effects hmmm....just wondering?

 
sholie

Asked by sholie at 4:37 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I'm married 19 years. My kids are 18, 16, and 12. Only now do we arrange alone time. Dinners or the movies or something. Before that we were exactly like you. But we took advantage of every minute we had alone. Even if it was in the kitchen standing by the sink. You don't have to lose each other in the mix. Make the best of the time you have without changing who you are. A 5 minute make-out session in the kitchen does wonders.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 5:29 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Alone time? WTH is that???? LOL
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 4:37 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • If you are happy with your current relationship and how things are going...why change it? Like the saying goes....if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Your friends may need alone time with their spouses....that is ok too. Just do what is best for you and your lil ones! If you find a need later for some 'alone time/date nights...then just do it.
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 4:41 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • It is my opinion yes you should find the time at least once a month or so to have just a date, just the two of you. However kids are a blessing and even though you are doing something with them, you should still be together, Not just being in the same place walking beside each other, but recognize and acknowledge that your love is there beside you, Hold his hand, pass him little glances and make sure to say sweet things, Laugh with each other and not just the kids, Then you will never have to worry about it causing problems later on, I am so glad he is your best friend, I think that is so important, My man is the best friend i have ever had, I love being around him, even when it is not about romance. So that is very important, Now in my head that all made great sense so i am hoping that you understood what i meant. Good luck!
    Mommyxtwo777

    Answer by Mommyxtwo777 at 4:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • We do a lot together with the kids as well but I think setting aside date nights is really important. You do have to separate yourself from the kids once in a while.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think even if it's just once a month, get a babysitter on a friday night or whatever works best for you and just go to a movie or have dinner, or both. Maybe something else you both enjoy. Or go twice a month and once go do something just you like and the other time go do something just he likes, that way there is some variety. I think alone time is good. My fiancee and I haven't had ANY for about three months now and our relationship is going down hill quick! We don't have the time or money for anything right now so we are just hoping it gets better with time. Good luck. =]
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 4:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Your family sounds alot like mine. Except , atleast once a month my DH and I go on dates. Either to dinner and movies, out for a drink, dinner and the mall, anything without the kids. We either hire a babysitter for a couple of hours on a Friday or Saturday night, or have my mother watch the children. It's great to be with the kids all the time, doing things together, but you also need to spend alone time w/your hubby. My kids actually love when we do this, they get just as excited as we do. And it's funny because they know date nights are for us.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 5:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think you should have alone time with just you and your hubby. I think it's great that you do so much as a family, but you need to keep developing the relationship between you and your husband. I've seen too many couples that when their kids go off to school, realize that they don't know each other anymore.
    BethTTC

    Answer by BethTTC at 5:00 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Once a year, we have a weekend getaway. It's total Primal Scream Therapy. We have hot monkey hotel sex, eat food I didn't cook, see a movie that doesn't feature a cartoon fish or penguin and both of us talk out any and every thing we feel like. I do think it's important to stay connected as a couple as well as a family.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 5:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yes you should make alone time., You don't know how many times i've heard men complaining saying that all their wives care only about are the kids. you can still be a great mom and close to your hubby. he needs attention too. Once the kids are all grown up and out of the house your gonna turn to the man next to you and say "who the hell are you?" You need to be a unity and the children will admire this from you and him. they will respect it and remember it later on in life.
    MAMAMISTY33

    Answer by MAMAMISTY33 at 5:16 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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