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How do I seperate from my husband on good terms?

I've made the decition to be seperated from my husband after long thought. However I want for us to be on good terms for the sake of our daughter. How would I approch this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Gonna have to have a heart ot heart with him.
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 4:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • use LOTs of calm words. Never say anything insulting while discussing the relationship. Let him know you have the higest respec for him as your child's father. If BOTH of you are mature enough it can be done. He will most likely be hurt for quite some time & may say things to hurt you, or try to get you back for hurting him (all men are boys inside) but just keep being calm & understanding. If you use enough communication, with respect & kind words anything can be accomplished.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:43 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Don't tell him? I got a divorce; it was supposed to be amicable and it was a mutual decision. Until the jackass wiped our accounts clean less than 24 hours after our conversation

    Chica has some really really good points. Unfortunately, you can't determine how well he's going to take it until you tell him. You may be all for being peaceful, and he may not. Remember this is a gamble, it's certainly worth your best shot, but don't count on him reacting the way you imagine in your image of how it's gonna come down.

    Good luck.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 4:48 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • And make sure you have enough money, in case he decides to clean out the accounts. Really, you have to talk with him. Tell him what you want, that you want to remain friendly, for your kids. He's got to respect that. Do you think maybe he feels the same way?
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 6:38 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • In order for it to be on good terms, both people have to agree to be nice. (which can't always happen). When explaining your reasons behind leaving, make sure you explain it in a way that makes the decision about YOU and not about him. This saves his male ego and you don't have to fend off his attempts to "fix" himself for the marriage. Say things like "I need to do this b/c I want to _____" or "I feel like I need to be by myself in order to _____" Let him know that you have thought about it a lot and theres nothing he could do or say to change your mind b/c its about you, not him. (even if it is..lol) Suggest how you would like for the whole thing to play out and what behaviors you would/wouldn't like during the process. Set boundaries for calls, visits, etc during the process. Discuss together how to approach your daughter. Discuss the possiblity of a mediator vs a divorce lawyer, etc. Protect your assets just in case!
    ozarkgirl3

    Answer by ozarkgirl3 at 8:36 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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