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WTH? why is it my busines?

Ok long story short, bil and ex-girlfriend broke up when our niece was 2 months old. Bil was cheating and generally being a d**k. Bil is one of those I will be a good dad when it is convenient to me kind of things, when he gets atention for it, and GF doesnt let him take baby for several months so when he sees her it is with the ex also and sio he chose not to see her at all. Now she started working againa and is a different shift from bil so she wants him to babysit for her and he is saying no I wont because you wouldnt let me see her for so long. I still talk to the ex, I stay out of it, dont offer my opinion (even though I really agree with her on stuff she goes about it the wrong way and can be really evil about it too, lying and saying he isnt dad, and she has a bf that is dad to her but she isnt dating anyone), but I still get to see her, I am the only one that gets to see her. Cont in reply...

 
AK_aries

Asked by AK_aries at 5:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (115 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • You know, if your hubby say's his brother is an a$$, and you think he's one, he's got to be one. What the he!! kind of man doesn't want to see his kid? He should be doing nothing but trying to see her. He has rights. But, since he'd rather spend money on drugs, he shouldn't have her anyway, IMO. Is your neice taken care of by her mom? She really should do what's right for her daughter. You know, I have a friend. Her and her now ex used to party. Not drugs, but they liked to drink. She got pregnant, and didn't party, didn't drink. HE couldn't grow up. They ended up getting a divorce, and she never talked trash about him to her daughter. She figured she would see him for what he is when she's grown. Kids should be taken care of first. Keep a relationship with them, as said by others, you don't owe anything to your BIL and MIL. As long as your hubby is ok with it, go for it. I'm sure he'd like to see his neice, too.
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 6:36 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I hionestly dont go and tell her anytihing about it, and I dont tell him anything she says either, even though she has told him I do, it is all made up stuff. Well now my MIL is saying I "need to stop talking to her for my family" It is hurting bil's feelings. I could care less, he needs to take her to court but instead will go and blow money on drugs uinstead of an attorney, so it really isnt that important to him IMO. No one but me has seen her since X-mas. I really dont care about a friendship with the ex but what the hell am I supposed to do here, stop talking to her and not see my niece, or be nice to mil and bil who really dont care4 about seeing the baby just fighting with the ex?
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 5:05 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Do what is in your heart to do. You don't owe anyone anything. It sounds like your BIL is just worried about himself and his image and same way with the MIL. If you want to keep things kosher with the woman so you get to see your niece then go for it and tell MIL and BIL to kiss your a$$.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • do what you think in your heart
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • yeah i would definitely want to see my niece
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 5:12 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I would probably see the neice and try to not talk about it with any of them and avoid the drama as best you can.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 5:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • How does your husband feel about you being friends with this woman? To me, that is a lot more important than what your BIL or MIL think. I think it needs to be something that your husband is going to support you on also. Your nieces are important but your relationship with your husband is important too. If he has no problem with what you are doing, then keep talking to her to see the kids.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 5:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • You need to choose what's more important. Family loyality or being friends with the ex. If you are only friendly with her to see the baby that's one thing. But if you are actually her friend then I'd side with the family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My husband thinks his brother is an ass and cant believe he hasn't thrown a fit for her before now. I give bil pics of his dd when I get them, not the mom, and hubby says I shouldnt be so nice to him he needs to go take pics of her if he wants them. His mom does the whole "my son does no wrong and if he doesnt want to see his dd then he probably has a really good reason and we need to support him" (yeah the reason is he is on drugs and has better things to do) Hubby doesnt know about them saying not to talk to her anymore yet, but he will as soon as he gets off work. I dont see him agreeing with them though to be honest, but yes if he does agree then I wont do it, it is his family, but he really doesnt like them much either.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 5:23 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I think the decision should be between you and your husband, not the MIL.
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 5:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2009