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I had to have a emergency c section with my first born son. I was in recovery for nearly 2 hours after his delivery and didnt get to hold him or even see him but for that brief moment they bring him by befor taking him to the nursery. Needless to say my sons father at the time got to hold him which was fine with me but he let everyone else that came hold our baby befor i got to.
This time its been 7 years later iv grown up iv gotten married to a wounderful man and we are haivng a baby here in about 4wks now we are trying for a vaginal birth but im aware that it could turn to a c section iv asked my husband that in the event i have to have a c section not to let anyone but him hold our baby till i get to hold him. Hes says thats selfish. IS it? I mean after all im the one who carried him for 9months i want to be atleast second to hold my baby. IM the mom. am i being selfish?

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Asked by Jaxsmommy09 at 5:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,370 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No you should have the right to hold him 1st if not second to have that speical bond!.
    your husband should understand that maybe explaining how u felt about the last one
    will change his mind.. i hope that you dont have to get a c-section and everything works out great for you!.. good luck!!

    Answer by star2208 at 6:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Not at all!!

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 6:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I dont think you are being selfish... You are being a mom. ; ]

    Answer by Kbmancine at 6:02 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Not even a little bit. Thats an important time. And since your first birth experience still bothers you then this one needs to go how YOU want it to go. Hope you get to have a VBAC though!


    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • im due in 4 weeks from saturday and when my sister had a csection her husband got to hold my niece but the nurse told us no one hows her til my sister let her go were we able to ..

    Answer by 1sttymmom409 at 6:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • i think ur perfectly right.. i wouldnt want anyone else to hold my son either ... cause thats a moment u want and deserve..

    Answer by 1sttymmom409 at 6:06 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Oh, when I brought my second baby home my dh grandparents were in our driveway. UGGGGG GO AWAY!!!

    I wanted my 2 year old son to be the first one to hold his new sister. So I ignored the grandparents and left her in her car seat until they left. (he was a drunk and molested his kids when they were little) SO I dont feel bad at all, I just wanted them to go far far away.

    I thought ift was rude of them to be waiting on us to drive up. Give some space!!!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:06 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • not at all!!!! i agree with you 100% your the momma you hold and cuddle that baby all you want no matter what anyone else says

    Answer by Kennadismom at 6:31 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • It's not selfish AT ALL. For 9 months all that baby knows is the voice of mommy and daddy. In the event of a c-section the baby's whole world is turned upside down and the only comfort (s)he will get is mommy and daddy.

    On a side note, make sure you do your homework on VBACs. The AMA has made it clear that doctors are over doing repeat c-sections and that a VBAC should ALWAYS be attempted. Find out as much as you can and to better your chances of a VBAC make sure there is NO augmentation. Any intervention at all can reduce the chances of a VBAC significantly. I suggest you go to GOOD LUCK!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • No way is that selfish. I'm tired of MEN telling us we're being selfish for just wanting to be mothers. At this point I think they all need to go away somewhere and send us sperm samples whenever we feel like getting pregnant. That ought to do it!

    I totally commend your decision to VBAC by the way! Go you!

    Answer by littlemrsmarcel at 7:51 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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