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I'm at a loss as to what to do. 5 y.o. soiling himself again at school!

My 5 year old has been pooping his pants again. I thought that we had this under control. He was doing very well, but his dad is in the field and he started up again.

I am waiting for his teacher to call me, she said she has to talk to me, but I am at a loss as to what to tell her. I don't know what else to do.
His dad is fixin to deploy again in May and we have been talking to him about it. I don't know if this is an emotional problem or what? He isn't sleeping at night either and has reverted to coming into my room in the middle of the night to sleep on my floor.
I feel bad for him because other kids are making fun of him. I am just so frustrated withthe whole situation. I feel really discouraged, like I must be a horrible mom or something.
Do any of yall have suggestions for me? I have already done making him clean himself and the mess up, reward charts, etc. I am at my wits end, any other ideas?

 
Galdarisimom

Asked by Galdarisimom at 6:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Constipation can be a self fulfilling prophecy. It hurts to go once so the child is scared it will hurt the next time. Because of that fear, he holds it longer which in turn makes him MORE constipated and makes it hurt worse the next time he has to go. Also if it goes on for long enough, he can actually lose the feeling that he needs to poop until it gets to the point that his body has no choice but to poop. It can take a long time to get a child with this problem back to "normal"  Check out these 2 links  They have some really great information about this:
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/8/T086100.asp

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/8/T081100.asp

    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 8:49 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Just a question please dont take offense but it needs to be asked....
    Has he or do you think it is possible he is being abused?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I am not offended and no I do not think he is being abused. I have thought about it and really considered it, but he is always with me or at school. I just don't see an opportunity for it and he knows about good touching and bad touching and which parts are private.
    Galdarisimom

    Answer by Galdarisimom at 6:52 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • By the age 5 they can communicate pretty well. What does he say the problem is? Does he not feel the urge to go? Is he being allowed to go to the restroom everytime he ask? Some teachers are weird about how many times kids get up and go potty, BUT they need to understand that all kids are different in there needs to use the restroom. Usually kids have a pattern, they eat and then X amount of minutes later they need to use the restroom. What is his pattern? Have you spoke to his doctor about what you can do? The kiddy doctors see kids all the time, with ALL different problems...I am sure they might have some good suggestions.
    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 7:06 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I took him to the doctor and he said that it is normal for boys to do that until they are 7 or 8. He suggested it was a behavioral issue. He says he can't tell he has to go, but this only happens when he is upset. I suggested it might be an anxiety problem and the doctor looked at me like I was crazy and said that his teacher would have to send in a note that he has anxiety problems. When I ask him what is wrong he says he doesn't know. Maybe I should have him talk to the school counselor?
    Galdarisimom

    Answer by Galdarisimom at 7:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My son just turned 5. He has always had the pooping problem. I thought we had it all fixed, but this week I've seen him in his "pooping" spot. When he sees me he'll say, "I've got to go potty" and will run to the bathroom, but won't until he sees me. I think his problem is more he doesn't want to go because he's having too much fun doing whatever, then it "sneaks" up on him and he sits. I'm sure your son might be alittle stressed that Dad is going to be away again, and it might be a way to "control" something. Good luck!
    PinkiSue

    Answer by PinkiSue at 8:47 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • With his father deploying it's most likely an emotional problem. My step son had nightmares and wet the bed when his dad was gone over seas. You may try contacting a therapist either through the school or the Family Readiness Group. I was involved in one when my husband deployed and they offered lots of helpful information. I'm also a social work student with a concentration in children's issues. I wouldn't think any abuse was present unless he's rubbing the fecies on something - that's a definite cry for help. Hope this helps
    addisonflowers

    Answer by addisonflowers at 10:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • My niece has a problem with her BM. She doesnt feel it till its to late. I cannot remember the name of this but when it gets alittle later in the day I will call and ask and get back with you. It is a real problem and there are things you can do to help it.

    Is your son constipated? Is his BM to hard and he doesnt want to go?

    Or......it could be emotional. Kids are funny. They deal with there emotions in strange ways. I know that teachers are busy, but mabey you could talk with your sons and ask her to have him go potty several times a day.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • This morning we had a break through. He went flying to the bathroom and I went in after him and he was trying to not go to the bathroom. He wouldn't tell me at first, but I told him he wouldn't get in trouble and he said that it hurts to go poop so he tries not to until it starts coming out on its own. I told him that even though it hurt he had to keep trying until it was all out and afterwards I would give him a popsicle(yeah I know bribery) and he did. I was shocked. I have never seen such a big thing come out of such a little person. No wonder he didn't want to go. I am not sure if constipation can be emotionally related because it seems to happen when he is stressed out, but I am just happy that maybe we found a new clue to fixing this problem. Thanks for the advice ladies.
    Galdarisimom

    Answer by Galdarisimom at 1:02 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I am happy you have found some answers.
    LimoMOM5

    Answer by LimoMOM5 at 2:23 PM on Mar. 27, 2009