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I have a very inappropriate crush. What do I do?

It's on my female doctor. I see her often and we are close. I'm married to man & have never been with a female. I'm finding it hard to hide & I cannot change doctors.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • If you don't want to be tempted to "give in" then change Drs. Why do you say you can't change Dr.s?
    BubNSoap

    Answer by BubNSoap at 7:37 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Let's be honest here..you can always change doctors. I think it's normal to have a crush and especially on a doctor. Sometimes people begin to have feelings for people that work in professions of helping us like doctors and therapist. They listen to what we have to say, they make us feel important and they might even relieve us from stresses. If you feel uncomfortable knowing you have these feelings, then I would suggest you find another doctor to go to. Just try to analyze why you have these feelings towards her and  are you lacking that in your marriage?

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:38 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I cannot change doctors because I have a very complicated medical history and she has been with me for almost a year and has finally found a diagnosis. She works off hours on my case. She has made a home visit. She is not like other docs. Changing would hurt me more than a crush.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I guess you can see why you have this "crush". Just reread what you wrote.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:50 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • As long as you don't see yourself ever cheating with her, a girl crush is innocent. IMO

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Well, I do know why I have it Legalmommy101 & there are many reasons beyond those obvious ones listed above. We have talked about many things together. She's single. No children. WAY older. How the heck do I get rid of it? My therapist thinks she is not good for me because she steps out of the patient/doctor "code" but my therapist just means I could get my feelings hurt if she stops paying attention to me. She has no idea I'm really crushing on her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Well..I'm not a therapist so I can't tell you how to get rid of a crush. Your therapist knows you better than I do so I'm going to assume that your therapist has your best interest at heart and really doesn't want to see you get mixed up in something that could hurt you or your family in the long run.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 7:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Well, I didn't really expect you to I just thought I'd redirect my question since you pointed out some of why I have it.

    And I can't tell my shrink she'd flip and my doctor's job would likely be on the line from all the crap I've told her in the past my doc has said or done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • If she's inappropriate with you, what makes you think you are the only one? Just a thought. The bottom line is...you obviously don't want this crush to go away or you would find a way to stop the innapproiate actions between you both. If you want it to stop, you can make it stop and only you know how. I can tell you that ending this innapproiate relationship is probably for the best. What would happen if another doctor found out about what she's doing? What about if your hubby found out? Your marriage is on the line here and her entire career is on the line. If she's willing to risk it then it's on her but you should not continue this with her until you have filed for divorce.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yah. I should. Easier said than done. My hubby knows and doesn't really care. She has gotten in trouble for me more than once though & would even more if my therapist opened her mouth. I really don't think she has a crush though - I think my doc is just being sweet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

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