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Son's principal just called

So apparently my son has been in the prinicpals office all last week for lunch and recess and so far all this week for hitting other kids. My son is 8 years old and has not been taught this. This has been a problem for some time now and I am looking for help from some other moms. What can I do? My husband and I have tried all kinds of punishments and nothing has worked so far. I just dont know what to do and it has become very upsetting and frustrating. I almost want to send him to live somewhere else. Does anyone have any advice please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (9)
  • When you talk to him about it can he tell you why he hits? I'd be interested to hear what he has to say about the problem. Does he seem angry?
    My stepson is 6 and he gets wild at school sometimes and we were trying all kinds of punishments at home but decided that unless something major happened, like being sent to the principal or being written up, that whatever his punishment was at school was sufficient. Obviously your son is having some issues - I would definitely sit down with his teacher to see what she thinks might be bothering him...
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 8:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Please take your son to the doctor. There may be something else that is wrong. We did that for our son (he was about 5 when this started), and it turned out he was ADHD. He is on meds and is doing just great (12 now). We also took him to a child psychologist. It really helped. GL!
    dragonfly7271

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:26 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Just make sure you get more than one opinion before you decide to put him on meds....many doctors are too quick to diagnose ADD or ADHD and a lot of times those medications aren't necessary. I'm not bashing the above poster at all - I am very aware that some kids legitimately need medication.
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 8:34 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Could be a food allergy- certain foods can cause bad behavior. For instance, cooked pineapple sends my daughter off the deep end.. If he is ingesting something that is reacting with his body, it can cause him to react that way.
    asalynsedai

    Answer by asalynsedai at 10:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Start by asking your son EXACTLY what happend. Is it one kid, several kids? What are the circumstances? Anything consistent? Find out what your son has to say first and ask him what were the circumstances were when this happened. Then see if an adult was around when this occurred, what did they see? Compare the stories. Try to explain to him about using a different method of getting rid of his anger. Also pick up a book about hitting for him to read. Sometimes when kids see information on tv or reading it...sometimes it "clicks" and makes sense to them. http://www.cjkidz.com/parentsgrandparentsteachers.html   click on  Acting Out/Aggressive Behavior which shows several books on this hitting.

    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 12:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Don't try "all sorts of punishments", try "all types of rewards" for when he does behave. It may work wonders.
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:24 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Rule out medical and developmental issues then put him into Karate. Not any other martial art. Karate teaches that martial arts are to be used for self defense. It teaches self control. He may need a focus and an outlet. Good luck.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 2:55 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Honestly? First of all, I'd be a little concerned that they are JUST NOW telling you this!!

    I would ask him what's going on, then have a conference with his teacher, principal, and school counselor. Have him tell them what they told you and see if together you can find a reasonable solution.

    If this is something that goes beyond the classroom - he's excessively aggressive at home or in public, it might be beyond your help and you may need to seek a professional therapist for him.

    Good luck!
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 12:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Im with jennijune.........why are they just now telling you and was he able to eat his lunch in the office? That is baloney. I would absolutely request a meeting and be sure the school social worker is there also. Dont' go alone, bring a witness. Have your eggs in a row, questions written down and be sure to make notes of there answers. I would ask them what there plan of action is.  As you cannot be there on a daily basis, you need something to go on with how the school is going to approach this problem.  I would have a real problem of my son being segregated for two weeks before I was notified regardless of the reasons. After two days they should of contacted you.

    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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