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I just need some support right now

I'm unhappy in my marriage. My husband doesnt treat me right and I'm just getting fed up with it all. I always feel like I have to try to make him happy but in return he doesnt do the same. He acts like its my job to only please him. Then to top it off my oldest sons principal called tonight to tell me he has been hitting other kids in school and they dont know what to do. I'm just completely frustrated tonight. None of my friends have no clue how I feel deep down about my husband so I cant talk to them. Why is it so hard for women to just say F it and walk away when they are not being treated the way they should be. I honestly dont know what is holding me here besides our kids and at this point I think my unhappiness may be affecting them too. WHat the hell do I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would suggest that you take your son to see a school therapist or even one outside of school. Check with your local health department to see if they offer any kind of family sessions, couples, and one on one therapy. Talking to a third party will probably help you figure things out or just vent since you can't vent with your friends.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:59 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • The only thing I can think to tell you is if you are unhappy and talking to your husband doesn't help the situation you have to take action. Even if you just start to pack your things he will either beg you to stay or help you out the door and there's your answer. I hope it all works out for you and your family and I know you will make the right decision for you and your children.
    TaterNJo0sMommy

    Answer by TaterNJo0sMommy at 9:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Talk to your husband. See if maybe you guys could go to couples counseling.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • It's hard to leave because you get scared of the unknown. It may be bad now, but it is familiar, and strangely enough safe because of the familiarity.
    I was in an abusive relationship and due to low self esteem and afraid of what else is out there I stayed. Until my son was the one the abuse was directed at. That was the last day of my marriage to him.

    When the hope of something better out weighs the fear you may decide to leave. Do you have family to help?

    However, does he know how you feel? You didn't mention abuse so is it possible more communication might help?
    Good Luck!
    promom

    Answer by promom at 9:25 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Stop doing things to please him. He's not number one, your kids are. Let him take care of himself. I find it odd that the school principle doesn't know what to do about your kid. Has your son been to see the guidence counslor? That should have been done, or it needs to be done. If talking with your husband doesn't work, write him a letter. Then you can say what you need to say, and he can't hear what he wants to hear. He won't be able to say 'but you said...', because it will be in black and white. I have written MANY letters, FU letters. They worked for me. It stopped him dead in his tracks. And made him think. It's worth a shot. I hope things look up for you soon!
    Buffie95

    Answer by Buffie95 at 9:44 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • i dont know what exactly defines abuse. if abuse is has he ever put his hands on me-well then yes. he has never punched or slapped me but he has done other things and I have also done things to him as well after he has done something to me. i may be small but i do fight back. we go at maybe 6 times or so a year. i notice lately im turning into this person who i really dont want to be. im miserable. we're moving to my mothers in may for 6 mts to save to buy a house. i honestly think this may be my time to break free. i think this may even be gods way of setting me free. i have done such a great job making everyone think things are so great im sure no one will understand why all of a sudden we are no longer together. i feel like a fool for even marrying him now and i know i can do better. i worry about divorce and what the courts might make me do for him. i make quite a bit more money then him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Sounds like hubby is a narcissist. Read up on how to deal with them. The child is learning bad behavior from dad (I'm king, do what I say or I'll punish you and make you miserable). The child has gone past verb and emotional bullying like dad and into physical abuse. That's not cool. You can help the child. Not sure you can undo the damage already done to dad. Staying or going is up to you but you certainly need support from others in the same predicament.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:04 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Girl i know how you feel send me a message
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 10:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • This is just my opinion from living in a physically and mentaly abusive marriage, and getting help breaking the chain.
    If there is ANY circumstance where you put your hands on each other in a violent way, there is no respect left, I say get out. I'm all for fighting back and defending yourself, been there, but you shouldn't have to be in that position in the first place. Marrage is not supposed to be like that. And remember I do speak from experience.
    I found a battered women's group to go to and it made all the difference. Not all of the ladies are beaten, some have just had years of emotional battering and are scared to escape it.
    Life can change, I have been in a marriage for 15 yrs and violence has never been a factor.
    You and your children deserve better.
    promom

    Answer by promom at 10:33 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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