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What happened to my kid?

My 12 yr old.. (13 in June) has always been the "perfect" kid.. Back in December, we had a few minor attitude problems.. and it has done nothing but get worse.
he has chores that he does - dishes.. every day after school. And on Tuesday - he takes the garbage out to the end of the street. Lately - he has just stopped doing his chores, gives me an attitude. His hygene is HORRIBLE - he isn't showering completly.. His grades have dropped.. from A's to F's.
There hasn't been any major changes in our lives to make this happen. I've tried everything.. from grounding, to actually having to whip his butt..
Tonight i found that he had been burning paper in the bathroom sink.. and throwing half burnt matches in the garbage, and again - did not do any of his chores. We have been over this every single day this week alone.. and this past weekend all we did was arguing because of his attitude

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KID ???????

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • He's growing up !! Fasten your seat belt, your in for a rough ride, I have been through this and going through it again, it's their age, you just have to find what works for the both of you, Thankfully I did with the first ( yes we still have our issues) but he still talks to me about everything, even sex, granted he is almost 18 now, but my soon to be 11 yr old is hitting the same stage as your boy, I wouldn't say rule with a heavy hand, but don't tolerate disrespect at all. Good luck mama and a don't forget a tylenol or two every once in awhile helps !!!
    katishome

    Answer by katishome at 11:54 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Could he possibly have been molested? you might want to look into that. it can happen at school, the baby sitters, the next door neighbors, or his best friends house. Investigate.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • ITS JUST A PHASE.
    BUT IF YOU DONT PUT AN END TO IT
    HE MAY KEEP IT UP.
    TELL HIM THAT GIRLS DONT LIKE STINKY
    BOYS AND THAT HE NEEDS TO SHOWER.
    YOUR KID IS GROWING UP, BUT I DONT
    THINK THAT BEATING HIS ASS WILL HELP.
    GIVE HIM LONG TALKINGS TO AND ASK HIM
    HOW HES BEEN FEELING AND WHY HES ACTING
    LIKE THIS.
    ALL OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST WANTS
    MORE ATTENTION.
    TELL HIM HOW IMPORTANT SCHOOL IS AND IF
    HE DOESNT SHAPE UP YOU WILL SIT HIM DOWN
    AND DO HIS HOMEWORK WITH HIM LIKE A FIRST
    GRADER. TELL HIM THAT YOU'LL SHOW UP
    AT HIS SCHOOL TO TALK TO HIS TEACHERS.
    WHATEVER YOU DO; DONT GIVE UP
    BECAUSE YOUR BABY IS IN THERE
    SOMEWHERE.
    bronxcouture

    Answer by bronxcouture at 9:39 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Maybe something is going on at school and he is acting out. Have there been any changes at home or with school or church? What about his friends? For this to happen so quickly, I'd say there is something behind it more than just a teenagers apathy. Sit him down and have a talk with him. Ask questions, and if this continues, possibly seek counseling.

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 9:42 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • That's what is bothering me more than anything. Me and him have/had a great relationship. We stay up at night and have long talks about EVERYTHING. I'm a single mom (the kids dad passed away 5 years ago) The kid and I have always been close.. he doesn't have to work hard at school to get A's.. his chores are very minimul. He's always been responsible. He loves going to church every Sunday. He's always been a GREAT kid.
    When i have talked to him about things like this.. he just flat out tells me that "he didn't want to" or.. he meant to do what he was told.. but .. well he just didn't get around to it. He tells me he's sorry.. that he didn't want to get in trouble for it.. but he just did. It's like he's lost a connection with common sense and reality all of a sudden.
    He comes home by himself after school for a maxium of 2 hours alone.. I checked with DCFS to make sure it was okay.. and they said he was fine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • OP here..
    I'm afraid that the other 3 kids will start to see that he is being disrespectful.. and that they are starting to "try" this out too. My kids have alway been very well behaved.. and this was such a sudden change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Um, PUBERTY!!!!!!!!!! That doesn't mean he gets away with being disrespectful, keep taking things away and grounding him. As for the showering issue, I stand right outside the shower and tell my almost 13 yr old where to wash. It only took a few times and now he does it on is own. Keep in constant contact with his teachers, email is wonderful for this. It should get better as he matures.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:33 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Yes, he probably is going threw puberty. He may also be having some troubles with the "no dad" thing. Do they have a "big brothers" association in your area? Yes I know that 12 years old is a legal age to be alone, but mabey he isnt ready to be alone yet. If he is catching things on fire, I would def. say you need to get someone at the house ASAP before he makes a bad mistake. I will introduce you to my sister whos son was doing this and caught the house on fire. You mentioned other kids. Is he responsible for your other kids for 2 hours? I hope not, he's having a hard time with himself right now let alone dealing with his other siblings on his own. Good luck momma........
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:21 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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