Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

okay be honest but dont bash please

so as most of you that know me know,my father died not too long ago. so i am doing my best to care for my mother as she cannot drive and if i cant take her somewhere for whatever reason if she cant wait she takes a cab. well something has come up with the house we are renting (nothing we created)but we are being told to move. now we have been looking and there is nothing around that is suitable so we have actually been talking about moving out of state which we have wanted to do for years. would that be terrible to do to my mother? im so confused i want to go but i dont know if it would be right? help

 
jodi205

Asked by jodi205 at 9:49 PM on Mar. 26, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Awe man.. This is tough.. Can you move in with her so you can take full time care??? If not maybe you can sell her house so all of you can move together... This is so hard.. Mama i feel for ya...
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 9:02 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • If you don't feel comfortable leaving your mom then don't go just yet. Talk to your mom and see how she feels. She may want you to go and spread your wings and live your life. She may want you to stay around to help care for her. You have to decide what is best for you, your mom, you hubby and LO. No one else can decide that for you. I know that it is a hard decision to have to make. We are going to move out of state soon and I have never lived more than 15 mins from my mom. I understand the feelings that you have. I wish you all the luck and patience when trying to make this decision.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 9:53 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Oooh, that's tough. I know what you mean. We lost my MIL and now are caring for my FIL and can't imagine leaving him. He's still able to care for himself though. Do you have other family around to watch her or help her? Or could you take her with you? Or maybe she could live in a retirement home.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:55 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • You have to do what is best for your family. It doesn't mean you love your mother any less but if you do move out of state could I suggest you set up your mother a support system. Depending on her age there are senior centers with socialization and alot of towns have public or low cost transportation, I've never used one but i figure cabs would be expensive. You lost your dad but she lost her husband and she need to have support of friends and family even if you move check in on her by phone have a neighbor deliver flowers for you one day things like that to let her know you still care. But providing adequate housing for your children has to come first and as your momma she would probably understand that. Have you talked to her about the possibility?
    If your heart tells you it's right for your family do it without regrets. Just be open and honest about it don't leave her hanging high and dry.
    Tygermommanikki

    Answer by Tygermommanikki at 9:58 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • can you move in with your mom? Or take her with you?
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:07 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Would you consider taking your mom with you? If she's still pretty capable other than the driving and you all get along well, I'd do it!
    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 10:10 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • would she be okay without you around? if she is able to take care of herself and doesn't depend on you i say go... how far will you be away from her?
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 10:11 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't be able to leave my mom. She's probably pretty vulnerable right now and she really needs you. I think the right thing to do is to find a place that is a reasonable distance from her OR take her with you wherever you are planning to move. Besides the obvious points about your relationship with you mother and how much she needs you, you also want to set a good example for your kids. You want to show them that we take care of our family and how to do that. I know I learned so much from watching my mother care for my Grandmother when she was sick, until the day she died. She then continued on to care for my Aunt when she was sick of cancer until she also died. Finally last year she cared for my other grandmother as well. My point is that my mother has shown me through her actions just how important it is to take care of our loved ones. I know you love your mom, and I think you know what is right.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:13 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • See if there are local agencies that can take her. Our bus system has a special door-to-door bus for folks like that. It's much cheaper than a taxi and it will take her wherever she wants to go (dr, grocery, etc) It is $1.00 each way. Call your bus service and see if they offer it. Also call your local senior citizen group and see if they offer anything. She doesn't have to be old to get some of the help they offer. It also might help her find others to be with so she's not alone when you go.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:14 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

  • I would take my mommy with me! But that's just me : )
    DayDaysmom19

    Answer by DayDaysmom19 at 10:17 PM on Mar. 26, 2009

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN