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Does anyone else have trouble with adult stepchildren?

My husband puts his adult children first and lets me know that if he ever had to choose between me or them, he's going to choose them!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Don't know if your religous but after your married your spouse is suppose to come first. GROWN kids should not come before you spouse. You shouldn't let them be mistreated, but you should not be mistreated either! I have 2 adult step kids that my husband had to sit down and say, look my wife comes first and we have younger kids to worry about. I can't and will not tolerate her being disrespected ESPECIALLY when she hasn't done one wrong thing to either of you. IF you can't handle that then you need to find somewhere else to stay (they came to live with us WHEN THEY BECAME ADULTS never mind he has beg them every year since we've been togther.) Now they want to come here and at like they are 5 yrs old and get treat that way, like give ME stuff you give it to the younger kids, why do I have to clean up? Crazy stuff like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • My husband let me know from day one that the kids came first I would not have it any other way. Even when we are empty nesters if it comes to a kids getting a new car or us a vacation or new tv, the kids get the car, if they are responsible.
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 12:29 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Thanks anon :20 -- We are churchgoing people and in fact, my husband comes from a family of preachers! He was that way at first, but then his kids moved out and became "golden" children and he will not do anything to make them unhappy. Even got mad at me because after a year of doing SS's laundry when he didn't do anything but stay up all night playing video games and sleeping all day -- I said enough!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • sound your husband like my husband but i get tired of this and i told him straight away if you want your children and they are God for you should not bring woman to them ans take care of them untill hey don`t need you then married.so then he start acting normal because his son gives me a hard time.even still because jealousy killing him but at least i don`t feel i am second hand.
    good luck to you and all women with our situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Marriage first...adult kids Second.
    steponme

    Answer by steponme at 12:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Thank you steponme! We need to get a group going on here that deals specifically with us "steps"! I signed up for the Christian Stepmom group but it is never working. I'm new to Cafe Mom & was hoping to be able to talk to other moms in my situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I started one if you want to go see...It's called Step-by-Step parenting...We have lots of moms in there...Go check it out. I'll let ya in!
    steponme

    Answer by steponme at 1:30 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I don't see the problem. He should put his children before you. Regardless of how old they are. They're his blood. You're just his wife. Easily replaced.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:49 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • "Just his wife"??? Not if you're a Christian. You become one when you are married. You are not one with your children. Husbands and wives should "forsake all others & cleave". You undoubtedly are not a stepparent. By the way, love is thicker than blood.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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