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Does anyone else feel the same way as I do when it comes to child support?

I just do not understand why people are so obsessed with child support. My daughters father is not in her life and I would not take him to court for child support, I do not want his money, I would rather take care of her myself. All I ever asked of him was to be in her life and he chose not to, his loss not ours! I am married and we have a son together and if we ever seperated I would not take him to court either, and I know he would be involved in his life. Could I use the money of course, raising a child is expensive, but I still do not want the money. Am I alone in this thought?

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jordanmarie2000

Asked by jordanmarie2000 at 1:09 AM on Mar. 27, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (15)
  • Worry about your own family :)
    Some people need the help of child support
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You're not alone in that thought, but at the same time some women can't make it on just what they make, and some women feel like if the man chose to "tango" that he should help take care of what he created. I haven't pushed my son's father for child support only because I know that by doing that it would bring forth a custody suit, and to me that isn't worth the hassle. But every day I know I could use the money it would bring in.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 1:14 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Maybe you don't understand it cause you have a hubby so you have 2 sets of income... try being a single mom with only her income boy oh boy could that child support be wonderful then...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I do understand, I am married not but I have not always been My daughter is 9 and I have been married for 6 years. We do not have 2 sets of income, we rely on my husband income while I finish school.
    jordanmarie2000

    Answer by jordanmarie2000 at 1:19 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Not everyone is able to adequately care for their child(ren) without child support from the non-custodial parent, and there is nothing wrong with that. Both parents should take financial responsibility for their children. While I agree that it is the biological father's loss that he has chosen not to be in your daughter's life, he still has financial responsibilities. Your daughter deserves financial support from her father, and if you don't need it for her day-to-day care, just imagine what a huge college account she could have with several hundred dollars deposited each month, plus interest over the next five, 10, or 15 years! Unless the man is a danger to your daughter, why wouldn't you want child support for her? I don't know your specific situation, but that is my opinion.

    DeTora_Family

    Answer by DeTora_Family at 1:24 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I would have done exactly what you did. If I had a child whose father didn't want to be involved, I wouldn't want or need his money. All I'd want is his signature, forfeiting his rights. I educated myself before having children so that I might be able to provide for them financially if need be. If I was irresponsible, and wasn't able to afford a child on my own, maybe I could see why going after someone like that would be beneficial.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I will pay for my daughters college, and anything else she needs. She or I do not need his money. And to anon 12:24 my thoughts exactly!
    jordanmarie2000

    Answer by jordanmarie2000 at 1:31 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I wasnt with y husband before we were married for one year. I got my own place and did it on my own he never paid or anything. He did vist his daughter often. It was hard but at teh same point I am a grown women who wants to show and teach my daughter you dont need help from a man to have what you want. I wanted my children and would have done it with out him. I feel that that is why so many men arent in the childrens life for that is all alot of women want is the money and the man is out working hs ass off and its hard and at teh end of the day they are like why bother. My husbands friend is like that then after 10 years he found out that 2 out of 3 of the children arent his. And he was paying over 1200.00 a month and still is. I dont feel that is right. He does still see the kids but it sucks that he is paying for some one eles children.
    moma22angels

    Answer by moma22angels at 2:50 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Some people like to take the child support and buy others things with it. and keep dad away from the kids. He wants to be involved, but she is a pain. Oh, she's remarried living the good life. We are barely hanging on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • i did the same thing with my first. He chose not to be in the child's life. While I was struggling.. i did not want to go to court. I felt that it would make him be part of his life. I just wanted to move on - with out him.
    When I did need help financially - and went to public aid - they told me that i would have to have him tracked down and he would have to pay support - I got up and left.
    I don't want his money.. his time.. or anything else.
    My oldest is almost 13 years old.. and we find ways to make ends meet.
    4xmommy2008

    Answer by 4xmommy2008 at 10:09 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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