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Husband deployed...2

I would like your ladies opinion.

Ok so my husband is currently deployed and will be for several more months. All the other wives that I have contact with hear from there husbands via email/phone from their husbans every day or every other day. Some of these husbands yes are higher up but some are not. I hear from my husband every 3 to 4 days via email. They have been gone about 5 weeks...and he hasn't called me once thought other husbands have called there wives/gf's/fiancee's by phone or in port. I am almost 38 weeks pregnant and question if he really loves me and if he is cheating.....
Cont"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • My husbands in the Navy...and yes when he was here he seemed to care and such. I've asked him several times in emails to call me he ignores it.....we have the extra money so he can call me. Thats why I don't see why its such a big deal for him to call me...I thought in my heart he cared more about me and our unborn child. I know I sound irrational...but to ignore a email thats begging him to call me just makes me question him. I know deployment is hard...I know it is...I can't fight that but when he isn't contacting me for days when other husbands are calling an checking on there pregnant wives(every day or every other day) who are like 20 weeks makes me really question our relationship.....I'm at a loss for words....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You really have no idea what he's doing on his ship, and what those other husband's are doing. He may have just not had a real opportunity to call. My hubby is subs, and they are so undermanned that he works 6 hours on 6 hours off when he's deployed. Of course, calling isn't an option for him, but even if it was, when would he have the time? Has your husband had a port call since he left? I mean, if he's had a port call, and liberty and still hasn't taken the time to call, I'd be really upset. BUT if he is on the ship, they could have had the phones down when he had free time, sometimes the lines are absurdly long, etc. Have you asked him in the emails why he hasn't called? I would suggest asking, but NOT accusing, asking him why he hasn't had a chance to call. Tell him that you really miss him, and would really like to hear his voice. He could just be going through something. Guys can act a little crazy during deployments...
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 2:10 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • ...But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he's cheating. You can always tell him in an email that it's urgent that you speak to him before the baby is born, and see if you get anywhere with that. There's no GREAT explanation I can come up with to tell you why he isn't calling you. You may just have to be patient with him, and wait until you can speak to him. I KNOW that's a very difficult task, you miss him PLUS you have to deal with a pregnancy all by yourself. I suggest you try your hardest to just keep faith, really there's no way to get through a deployment without trusting your husband. Good luck!
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 2:13 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Yeah he recently just left a port...all I heard through on my myspace and facebook how everyone's hubby had called them during port...I haven't accused him of anything in the emails I simply tell him I love him and miss his voice but I guess it isn't enough. He does different things each and everyday...I know the phones on the ship mess up....but if the other guys are able to use them....I wonder why he cannot.....but he can send a email several every 3 to 4 days. idk
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I've tried everything to get him to call me everything but thanks for answering its upsetting but I'll deal like I have been.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I would be upset that I didn't get a call during the port call, however, maybe he didn't get liberty? Do you know any of the wives of his friends? Maybe you could ask one of your friends to talk to their hubbies and see if they can figure out what's up with him.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 2:18 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • None of them know him. I've asked around though yeah I am upset it doesn't make sense. I feel as if I've done something....but I know I haven't. I mean I just have it in my head there is a girl on the ship cause even emails are rare when I get them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • u know what maybe you should explain to him how u feel cause if he knew he might care.. and on subs yeah its different but most anything else in the navy they can call at least once a week and email when they got time
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 3:42 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I agree with toriandgrace

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:42 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I was in the Navy and did two deployments. I would be upset, too. Especially with being pregnant. I will tell you, though, that trying to call when you're overseas is a HUGE pain in the ass. Some places it's easier than others, but there was one place that took me forever to find an International calling card and they aren't cheap. They aren't super expensive, but they aren't cheap. And to call from the ship is $1 a minute and you only 20 minutes per cad and then there is lag time from when you talk and he hears it. If you can make him up a care package - good things to send are things that don't melt (minimize the chocolate)- ramen, easy mac, his favorite candies, books or magazines he likes, DVDs, music, his favorite snacks that he can't get on the ship, if you buy anything that comes in a glass jar wrap the glass in duct tape a couple of times and then put it in ziplock (my mom sent me pickles) - CONT
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:47 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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