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Birthmark on face what would you do???

I am mother to the cutest baby boy on earth. David had a small “veiny” patch on his left cheek our specialist is saying let’s do laser surgery. Laser surgery is not as simple as it sounds. David will have to be put under general anesthesia because it is too painful to do while awake. Our doc said that it feels like getting a tattoo. Also he will need to do this 5 times over the span of 15 months. Now this mark will fade according to the doctor at the rate of 10% each year of life. My husband does not want to do it he says it shows just how bad we are as a society to subject a children to a medically unnecessary surgery to make them look like everyone else. I am torn I go out with him all the time and people say things to us all the time. Mostly they ask is that a bruise, food, lipstick etc. Then there are the stares. I just want to run away with my little guy... What would you do in my shoes? thanks

 
Sarahedger

Asked by Sarahedger at 1:45 AM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (12)
  • PLEASE pm me - I have a venal malformation on my face, on the left side. It, too, appeared "veiny". For yrs, Drs viewed it as a cosmetic thing, and we were leaving it alone. However, there is a LOT more to it than that, and in fact, later in life it started to grow, has caused me to hemorrhage from my nose (way more than a simple nosebleed) and I've had several treatments on it.

    Not laser surgery, but scholosing (sorry, I can say it, but I can't spell it, lol), which is basically injecting the excess blood vessels with alcohol to kill them off. It's a very tricky procedure, and it's not outpatient. Some Drs have looked at me and, without having done an MRI or anything like that have been like "well, we can just cut it out, no problem", or, "sure, that's an easy fix, we can do it right here in the office".

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:47 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • i had a birthmark on my face when i was little and it faded and its not noticeable at all now. i wouldnt do the laser thing... thats how god intended him to look let it be.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 1:47 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Wow. That is tough. I would definately seek another opinion as to that Dr's diagnosis. If it would be possible to wait and see how it goes, maybe you can get the surgery (or who knows, there might be something newer or better out by then) on down the road aways. Maybe before he starts school.

    My granddaugter was born with a lazy eye. The first Dr. wanted to have surgery done immediately. We took her up to a specialist in St. Louis and they said, there was nothing wrong that she wouldn't grow out of... She is now 4 and her eyesight is wonderful.

    I always recommend seeking another opinion!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • My daughter had a birthmark on her nose and I did nothing about. You cant even tell that she has one now unless she is mad or is cold. I wouldn't do surgery if it is going to go away on it own. I also have a friend that has a birthmark on her cheek and I dont think that she was ever picked on for it.
    alaskansglmom

    Answer by alaskansglmom at 1:50 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Wow, thats a hard question. Maybe wait for him to be older and make the decision on his own? But that will most likely hurt more and he might already have been tormented by it already in school. If he gets it done as a baby it would be less painful and perhaps he wouldnt even remember it. But then again if its cosmetic surgery, its really unnecessary, and he will still have to be put under and there could be room for something to go wrong. Its very hard.
    If I were in your shoes I would wait until he is older to express what he wants done, and everyday just remind him that he is the most beautiful boy in the world. GL with everything.
    AdensMommy1107

    Answer by AdensMommy1107 at 1:51 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I wouldn't do it. My daughter has a lot of developmental issues and we talked about doing a repeat MRI, but decided against it because it wasn't worth it to put her under anesthesia again. There can be issues that arise from putting young children under. Good luck to you!
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 1:58 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • My DD has one between her eyes and it has faded slightly since she was born....I am not doing anything now. It might bug her when she gets older if it's still visible but I wouldn't put her thru that now.
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 2:12 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I completely agree with your husband. Don't worry about stares. People stare at babies all the time. It is natural to want to look at people, but grown-ups get annoyed when they are stared at and impatient when strangers talk to them, so we stare at and talk to babies. Babies don't mind and we get to feel social. Besides, I had a big crush on a boy in 5th grade because he had a birthmark. It was a giant dark brown patch that covered half of his cheek. I couldn't help but notice him because of the birthmark, and once I noticed him I also noticed that he was really cute and really nice. I loved him and his birthmark (as much as a 5th grade girl can) and 20 some years later I still remember his name. Stamped out, cookie cutter type people are boring. His birthmark is a blessing - leave it.

    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 2:33 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I'd wait to see if he wants it done. I had an umbilical hernia. My belly button used to look like a boy's pee-pee...My parents asked me if I wanted it done when I was about 8, and I made the decision on my own to get it taken care of. Accept your son as he is, and let him decide for himself to get such a drastic procedure done. I'd love to see a picture of him, the way you've described him, he seems like a sweet boy!
    ThaMCE

    Answer by ThaMCE at 3:08 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • cont

    Luckily, this has been AFTER I've gone to Drs who specialize in these and who did do MRI's to see how extensive it was (it just looks like it's my cheek and lip, but it goes up behind my sinus cavity, across the roof of my mouth, down in my throat, etc.). I know if they try to do it this way, it's going to be very bad for me medically. (This has happened when we've moved and I had to get new referrals to new Specialists.)

    I would not discount treatment for your child's sake, because while I'm ok with it now, as an adult, as a child it was hard being that "different". People are taught "be accepting" of people with disabilities, but things like this, they don't view in the same light. I can't tell you how many times I've had people think I've been hit (ironically, I was abused as a kid, but this wasn't it). I still get those comments as an adult - they think my dh did it.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:52 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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