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I need help, DH demanding money...vent!

Ok, my DH makes 87k a year, and I make 32k a year. He's wanting me to split the bills in half...I'm like WTF, I barely bring home 2k a month and our bills are over 6k a month....
We have a 4 month old, and I have to buy her new clothes because she constantly grows out of them, not expensive. But, damn. I've told him I can't afford to split everything in half. He told me "get a second job or else".
We've already filed taxes and the money we got back, he kept it all and won't give me any of it. I told him to take my half and pay the bills for a month so I could save...he said it was his money and he'll spend it on whatever he wants.
OMG, I just pray that God gives me the strength not to beat his ass.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • He sounds like an asshole. How does he have access to keep ALL of the money?? This is where we go wrong as women by letting them have all of the financial control. I'm not bashing..

    How on earth can he expect you to go half when you don't make even half of what he makes?? I tell you what...it sounds like this has more to do with money and bill honey.
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 9:51 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Why do you not have a joint account if you guys are married? We started off with separate accounts before we were married but after the fact, we had to change that. He kept telling me no that things were fine the way they were. But he makes about 8 times what I make so that didn't work for me. I held a lot of resentment for him. I tried sitting down and talking about it with him but he didn't really want to listen. So finally, he gave in. I don't like games in a marriage, I think they are silly and immature. But you know your husband better than anyone. What is he going to do if you don't pay half? Kick you out? He can't do that. Those "or else" threats are so empty. Stand up to him and tell him if he really wants to split things, then he can pay for half of the groceries, half of anything the baby needs, etc. Then, if you stay home with him, tell him he owes you for daycare. If he wants to be silly, you can too
    DDry

    Answer by DDry at 9:51 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • If it were, I wouldn't be praying for the strength to not beat his ass... I would be praying for forgiveness for already doing it.

    Hope things get better for you!
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 9:51 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You should do your research and inform what will happen to his money when you divorce.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 9:52 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • This is why we SHARE an account. Anything that goes into it is AUTOMATICALLY both of ours, no matter who puts in more. Money has never been an issue for us. Neither one of us has any desire to keep monery seperate from the other, we share EVERYTHING. Money is a very minimal issue in my home. He seems very selfish, & controlling.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:56 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • What does he do with the extra money?

    My DH has been planning to leave his job for the last month and half, but just the other day decided he was going to stay, even though he will be gone 7 days at a time, and only off work for 2. Not to mention, he works a 6 hr drive from where we live in KS. He put me in charge of making sure the bills get paid, and since I'm only a few weeks out from having the baby, he's not allowing me to work. (Which I wouldn't get hired right away anyway...) He pulls in close to 85k now, and that's more than enough for us. You know what he did with our tax money? We had a $3600.00 return, and he put that toward payments on my Jeep, and paid the thing off. There's no sense in your DH acting so childish, especially if the money you're making is going toward your child, or even yourself, that's 32k a year HE could be spending on the two of you, so HE should be THANKFUL you even HAVE a job... and if he
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 9:57 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Hello...it's both of your money! WTH is he thinking? I 've never heard of married couples dividing up money like that. What ever happened to "What's mine is yours, what's your is mine"?
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 9:57 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • needs so much help paying those bills, maybe he should make some sacrifices and do without some of those things...

    JMO...
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 9:58 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I am truly sorry you are finding out your DH is an a-- ,,,after you had a child by him...I personally would not put up with that..You are a married couple ,,not room mates. I believe in marriage the money should be both of your..Not mine is mine yours is yours...I think you need to take a hard look at your marriage..I would not stay with a man that is like that. Selfish with his money

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:58 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Sorry but you won't get any sympathy here. You are saying that your bills are $72,000 a year.
    If your mortgage was $2500 a month and you had a car payment of $750 a month (both of which are high) that would be $3200 a month. Add utilities and groceries - $1000 a month. What are you doing with the additional $1800 a month - that's $450 a week in misc. expenses.
    The average american household is bringing in less than $50,000 a year and you are whining about the $119,000 a year that you and your husband are earning. And it still leaves $47,000 a year for savings.
    Maybe your husband is trying to tell you that you are spending way beyond your means.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Mar. 27, 2009

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