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two mommys?

i was dropping my daughter off for daycare today (which happens to be at the OTHER grandparents house) and daddy and his gf came in shortly before i left. I was tell my daughter to say bye to mommy, and she proceded to look straight at daddys gf and say "bye mommy"

My daughter is almost 2 and this is not the only time i have caught this happening. A couple weeks ago i was with liz and we saw daddy and walked to where he was and when we left, he told her to say "bye to mom---nicole", he acted like it was a slip but im pretty sure they have her calling the gf mommy when liz is at his house...

Is this normal or typical OR is it nicoles way of trying to feel like the mommy even tho she isnt? They are pregnant right now and liz will be around her lil sibling as it calls nicole mommy, but that doesnt mean liz has to to right?

Does anyone else think nicole is telling my 2 year old to call her mommy too or am i just crazy?

Answer Question
 
bananaapplepie

Asked by bananaapplepie at 12:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would be upset if my children called someone else mom. I would tell the dad you don't want her calling her mom, it may confuse her later. Also, tell your daughter her dad's gf is Nicole, not mom. But if they are telling your daughter to call her that, it may be harder to fix.
    delta139

    Answer by delta139 at 12:34 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • see, im NOT ok with her doing it... Theyve been playing this game of happy lil family since liz was born, and nicole is always telling me im doing things wrong, or will find a teeny tiny bruise and totally go ape shit asking me what happened, YET when she comes home with a SCAR on her chin, no one knows what happend, or when se came home with a 3 INCH SLASH on the back of her head, no one knows and thought it came from my house!!!

    I personally think its nicoles way of making her the better person, and i know she wants to have liz at thier house all the time, even tho i have liz only 3 nights a week cuz liz is either with daddy or with daddys parents so...

    I find it very fude that she is doing this! BUT at the same time everytime i talk decently with her she makes it sound like she is on my page of everything!!!

    see why i need help? she is hella 2 faced!!
    bananaapplepie

    Answer by bananaapplepie at 1:03 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • well, I call my stepdad DAD - i chose to do it on my own though since we were older - if it bothers you though, you should rightfully say something to your daughters father. I think it would probably hurt my heart a little if that was my situation - but I wouldn't want to make a huge deal of it either since your daugher seems to be fine with having 2 mommies -besides, you'll be able to explain soon whats really goingon
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I would talk to the dad first. Don't put your daughter in the middle of that argument. Even if you are uncomfortable with it, ultimately it is your daughter's choice. I would ask her father if they are "making" her call the gf that or if it is something your daughter started on her own. Unfortunately, all you can do is say that it makes you uncomfortable because you don't have any say as to what goes on in their home, just like they can't tell you what to do in yours.

    mrsbrown1

    Answer by mrsbrown1 at 2:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You definitely shouldn't put your DD in the middle. Adults make the rules, if adults make different rules, then she will follow different rules, she is the child. You can't tell her NOT to call GF "mom" if they are teaching this to her. (because she will have to choose to obey you or him, or realize that she better keep a secret from you so you won't get mad---leading to other problems in the future.) The only thing you could do is talk to her dad if you feel strongly about it, but as you stated yourself---after this baby comes, she probably will do it on her own because they will call themselves mommy/daddy to the 1/2-sib. Maybe the compromise is Mommy & Mommy Nicole. Your child's relationship with her father should trump any petty jealousy issues-if there are any. Good luck, sorry about the situation, but it sounds like you are mature enough to handle it.

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • She'll figure it out when she gets older I would think. :/
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WILL ALLOW HER TO EVEN BE MOMMY NICOLE!!! sorry, but i feel hella strong against that! that would be like her calling her godfather, daddy steve (let me mention he is more a father figure, since he was by my side from the day of conception to right this moment, since he across the room from me!)

    honestly if it were up to me, lizzi wouldnt even know nicole existed other than another person, i just dont like how this is going and im really not gonna like the way it ends...
    bananaapplepie

    Answer by bananaapplepie at 4:49 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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