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two mommys?? HELP

i was dropping my daughter off for daycare today (which happens to be at the OTHER grandparents house) and daddy and his gf came in shortly before i left. I was tell my daughter to say bye to mommy, and she proceded to look straight at daddys gf and say "bye mommy"

My daughter is almost 2 and this is not the only time i have caught this happening. A couple weeks ago i was with liz and we saw daddy and walked to where he was and when we left, he told her to say "bye to mom---nicole", he acted like it was a slip but im pretty sure they have her calling the gf mommy when liz is at his house...

Is this normal or typical OR is it nicoles way of trying to feel like the mommy even tho she isnt? They are pregnant right now and liz will be around her lil sibling as it calls nicole mommy, but that doesnt mean liz has to to right?

Does anyone else think nicole is telling my 2 year old to call her mommy too or am i just crazy?

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Asked by bananaapplepie at 12:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Oh I am sure they are telling her to call the girlfriend mommy. Most toddlers learn people's names as they are told. They don't really assume like that. The question is, are you okay with her calling the girlfriend mommy? If not, you need to talk to your ex and tell him how you feel about it. He needs to be telling her that the girl's name is not mommy, it's Nicole. It's hard on her if she hears other people calling her mommy though. But talk it out with your ex and see if you can find something that you are comfortable with but will be easy on your daughter.

    Answer by DDry at 12:06 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I woundn't like that, and I would tell my ex and his women that I would prefer that they stick to a first name basis to not confuse our daughter.

    Answer by NicholeAT at 12:07 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I'd have to ask him how he'd feel if I was teaching her to call another man Daddy. If they added her name to it, it might would work for me, but I dont' know. I've asked my hubby to never teach our kids to call another woman Mama even if I've been dead for most of their childhood and if they choose to call her that, to add their name to it so that when you talk about "Mom" they know which one. It's good she must love your child, but you only have one Mom or Dad. I'd just add the name to it to avoid a lot of problems, but that's just me.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • My 4 yr old calls her dads gf momma bugs(her nick name) and most of the time she calls my fiance daddy Wes. She calls me mommy so We don't have too many issues. But the other day Wes was with me when I went to see her and her Dad heard her call him daddy wes and started to get on to her and I spoke up "I don't think so honey she calls your girlfriend momma bugs so she can call Wes daddy Wes if she wants. Suck it up." But that's just us. We also call our grandmother momma Jo and our Aunt momma Di. But my girls know without a doubt who there mom is and that I will always be there for them

    Answer by KallaLilli at 12:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • see, im NOT ok with her doing it... Theyve been playing this game of happy lil family since liz was born, and nicole is always telling me im doing things wrong, or will find a teeny tiny bruise and totally go ape shit asking me what happened, YET when she comes home with a SCAR on her chin, no one knows what happend, or when se came home with a 3 INCH SLASH on the back of her head, no one knows and thought it came from my house!!!

    I personally think its nicoles way of making her the better person, and i know she wants to have liz at thier house all the time, even tho i have liz only 3 nights a week cuz liz is either with daddy or with daddys parents so...

    I find it very fude that she is doing this! BUT at the same time everytime i talk decently with her she makes it sound like she is on my page of everything!!!

    see why i need help? she is hella 2 faced!!

    Answer by bananaapplepie at 1:05 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I think you need to step up and take back control of things. If you dont they will walk all over you. Start by telling your ex and his girlfriend that your not okay with them making your daughter call her mommy. Your the only mother she has period. If they are not married i wouldnt even recommend your daughter calling her her stepmom. Right now the girlfriend should be referred to by her first name. Just try talking to them and see what happens. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Why is she only with you 3 nights a week? I'm just nosy, sorry. With her staying at so many houses so often, I'm wondering how she deals with that. I'm thinking toys, books, pets (if there are any at any of the homes).
    If you don't want her calling her that, then get that child back home with you except on his visitations, and when she calls her that, correct her and tell her that her name is Nicole and that you're her Mommy. I'm guessing from the sound of it that she's encouraging it to bug you tho so. The slash on the back of the head, how could they not know when it happened? I can understand an accident and not knowing how, but not seeing any blood?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:29 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • She was only with me for 3 nights a week due to my work schedule.... now that has changed and i have tried to cut back the time she is with them but they say its "his" time and then they get pissy if i change nights or whatever on them.... like this week i only worked 2 days and instead of having her all week, its the same sched.... Or how bout next week when that ENTIRE family is on vacation (caribean cruise) and random family members i dont know (like daddys cousin) are going to be stopping by and picking her up??? i mean WTF... OH and shes supposed to go out to great grammas, who is 71, and play with another toddler.... this woman can hardly handle quiet docile lil kayden, how is she gonna handle my terror toddler??

    oh and did i mention they absolutly hate lizzis godfather (whom they suspected of being her real father till the DNA test) Daddys mom said she didnt want liz around her god dad for no apparent reason...

    Answer by bananaapplepie at 4:44 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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