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I want to adopt another child because I cannot get pregnant. But my husband doesnt agree with me because he doesnt like the idea of having a child that is not his. and I want to give a child LIFE.

My husband is going into the NAVY. and he is just not comfortable with it and I am not sure why.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (11)
  • ur husband is selfish just give up the idea and get a puppy.pray!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You both need to be in agreement. If he isnt with you on it, then that is the end of it. You cant force someone to like the idea of raising a child that is not theirs biologically. And how can you not know why he doesnt want to. DIdnt you ask him? Also really "give a child LIFE"....there a tons of couples waiting for a healthy white new born (the IDEAL situation for most couples). There are tons of kids in foster care with no permenent homes. You are not "saving" a child from abortion by adopting them. Most women who end up giving their child up were not contemplating abortion in the first place.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • okay maybe not LIFE. but a better life. to help them. sorry. and i never said to save a child from abortion. you dont know anything about me or my family. so dont be puttin words in my mouth...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I think that adoption is a beautiful thing. I was adopted when I was 12 and I would hate to think where I'd be without it. Maybe your husband should have a more open mind. I'm not saying you should force him or anything but maybe ask him to see it from another point of view. I am considering adoption (even if it's not a white newborn baby.) All children need to feel like they are loved. Good luck on yours and your husbands decision.
    mariaria

    Answer by mariaria at 3:52 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You both need to be on board.
    My comment to people who say that they couldn't love someone who was nothing biologically related to them is that you love your spouse.

    luckyshamrock

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 9:46 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Your husband sounds like he is suffering from ignorance and selfishness. PRAY!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I didnt "put words in your mouth" What I said was a reflection of what YOU said. ANd many many people assume they are "saving" a child from abortion by adopting them! Dont get all up on my case. YOU posted the question in public! IF that is not what you meant fine, just clairify it dont jump all over me! Maybe you're not really ready for a child either!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Both spouses have to be dedicated to and desiring of adoption for it to be a good situation. All you can ask him to do is educate himself about adoption - read, talk to adoptees, birth families, and adoptive families, etc... But do not start the process of adopting if he is not absolutely 100% on board. Adoption should never be something one spouse gives into to make the other spouse happy.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 4:05 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I agree with everyone who says that you should be in agreement before moving forward.

    About the "healthy white newborn" comment - this one gets thrown around a lot, and it seems that people assume that potential adoptive parents are all waiting for this. Many of us are open to any race or ethnicity, and also open to babies with health problems or mental retardation. My husband and I are blessed to have adopted two babies who were exposed to meth during the pregnancies for significant times.

    To those who are always suggesting that couples should only adopt from the foster system - how many children have you adopted from the foster system? Did you choose to start your family with a newborn? There is no requirement that couples adopting from the foster system be infertile. Can't allow each other to make choices about our own lives? After 8 1/2 years of infertlity heartache, we decided that we wanted a permanent family
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:36 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I didnt "put words in your mouth" What I said was a reflection of what YOU said. ANd many many people assume they are "saving" a child from abortion by adopting them! Dont get all up on my case. YOU posted the question in public! IF that is not what you meant fine, just clairify it dont jump all over me! Maybe you're not really ready for a child either! .........

    we already have a 14 month old little girl...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Mar. 30, 2009

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