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Spending Easter with an Atheist....

I am in a bind. A couple of years ago, we ( my dh and I) decided that we would spend every other holiday at one family's or another. Well, this year Easter is my in-laws holiday. First, holidays at their house aren't fun. Everyone sits and watches TV (including through dinner), second, my fil is an Atheist. I'm having a hard time being willing to spend the most holy of holidays at their house. To top it all off, my parents have been out of town for the past 4 months, and it'll be the first time my whole family will be together since Christmas. I don't want to hurt any feelings, or cause a big rift. But I don't know what to do. I thought about having everyone at my house for Easter, but my family and my in laws are polar different, and its always very tense. I try to keep them separated. Any suggestions??

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my4lads

Asked by my4lads at 1:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I can understand your reluctance to spend a religious holiday with people who don't hold your religious views. I would suggest using this particular time to go on a family vacation...of course you should discuss with hubby first. He may see this as an opportunity to spend time with extended family.
    FlyMom07

    Answer by FlyMom07 at 1:17 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I think that the simple fact that they are willing to host Easter with him being an Athiest is a good thing. I can understand how it may make you feel going over there on Easter but I'd just be understanding of his faith or there lack of and be greatful for yours. You are celebrating something wornderful, keep that in the back of your mind at all times and I'm sure you will be just fine. Remember it is not your job to change his mind, your only purpose is to celebrate God/ Jesus the way he would want you to on Easter.
    danni33

    Answer by danni33 at 1:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Its not that he's just an Atheist, its that he bashes my Catholic beliefs at any chance he gets. My mil is a non practicing Catholic, who has stopped practicing for her husband. All Easter is to them is bunnies and eggs and all the commercial stuff. I'm raising my son's Catholic, and want them to know the real reason for Easter, and not have to listen to my fil bash their beliefs.
    my4lads

    Answer by my4lads at 1:27 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • You made the agreement, you should stick with it.

    Go, let your kids have fun with the 'commercial stuff' and don't bring up the topic of religion or engage in any religious discussions.

    However, at the first bashing my suggestion would be to pack up the kids & go.... if hubby decides to stay behind, that's fine... just tell him to call you when he's ready to be picked up.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • perhaps before attending dinner, you could make some time to go to church, so that you feel you aren't neglecting your spiritual needs. I'm an atheist myself, but my family never spends holidays like this. But my mom went through this with us, with christmas at her in-laws.. every year she would try something new until we actually had a "holiday" celebration. Ex. She started, by making sure our family came dressed up, eventually everyone came dressed up. She started by making sure our family sat at the table for dinner, then slowly everyone did this. Etc. Good luck, hope this helps.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:58 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Yes you did make an agreement....true,,,how about stopping by beofre you go, and after..
    ...and maybe next time, your family can get easter.. :) hope you still getto enjoy it anyway! wherever you are!
    aMbeR012005

    Answer by aMbeR012005 at 2:00 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • "You made the agreement, you should stick with it.

    Go, let your kids have fun with the 'commercial stuff' and don't bring up the topic of religion or engage in any religious discussions.

    However, at the first bashing my suggestion would be to pack up the kids & go.... if hubby decides to stay behind, that's fine... just tell him to call you when he's ready to be picked up."

    I 100% agree with this. Christ wants us to uphold our promises, and this was one. He wouldn't want to to go back on it just because you don't like the situation. Just make sure DH knows that you are very upset when FIL bashes your beliefs, and you will not allow yourself to be subjected to this kind of treatment.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 2:08 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Laura1229 took the words out of my mouth!
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 2:11 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • I totally agree with Laura. I'm an atheist so the holiday is only about bunnies and eggs for us but I wouldn't tolerate someone bashing religions in my house and I would feel that they have every right to leave if someone started in on that (well, I would probably kick out the offender if it were my house).

    I say go to church in the morning and talk to your kids about the reason you celebrate and then go to the inlaws for dinner, bunnies and baskets and try to have a good time and warn your fil that if he starts bashing they you are leaving and will reconsider coming back for any other holidays. There is no reason he should disrespect your beliefs.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:21 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Laura1229 is 1229% right.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:25 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

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