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Do you? or does he.........................?

I am kindof having an issue with me being the only one who makes plans for us to spend any alone time together, whether its just getting a sitter to be home alone that night or to go out to dinner and a movie or have a drink or whatever. I feel like he should want to spend time with me too and he should ask me sometimes, But I have heard from people that its typical for men to never initiate spending time together and for the women to make the plans. I mean he usually always says yes we can do that when I ask him but it would just be nice for him to ask me! and yes I have told him Id like him to and he still doesnt!! So are you the one who usually makes all of your quality couple time plans or does he?? is this normal??

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scaredmommy08

Asked by scaredmommy08 at 5:06 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • We both make plans, whether or not we stick to them is a different.
    NicholeAT

    Answer by NicholeAT at 5:12 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • i make all of our plans i think its just a man thing. if we didnt do it then they would probably complain they didnt have any alone time with us but still wouldnt try to make plans. Im sure there are a few romantic type men but i always remind myself that i married who i married and hes just not the type that makes alone time plans or be romantic.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • lol i know where your coming from, i mean me & my DH spend all of our time together but i am the one who has to initiate actual plans. Men are horrible at making plans.
    Kbmancine

    Answer by Kbmancine at 5:21 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • It's not a man thing, it's a personality thing. I'm usually not the one that makes plans to spend time together. He usually gets frustrated with me because I always have something else to do and never think about planning things for just the two of us. This may be very unromantic but sit down and write a list of things you want to do together and check them off as you go. See if that helps.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • We both make suggestions all the time but they hardly ever actually happen. I think it's the thought that's nice since we both know that finding a baby sitter isn't exactly easy. I wouldn't say I suggest it more, but I would say sometimes I come up with better ideas lol.
    jessicarae787

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 6:04 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • Quote: "But I have heard from people that its typical for men to never initiate spending time together and for the women to make the plans. I mean he usually always says yes we can do that when I ask him but it would just be nice for him to ask me! and yes I have told him Id like him to and he still doesnt!! So are you the one who usually makes all of your quality couple time plans or does he?? is this normal??"

    Yes, my husband does the same thing. It's the same with chores too. He never initiates anything (spending time together, making plans for the weekend, or doing chores). I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't want responsibility when he's at home.
    starandseen

    Answer by starandseen at 6:06 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • My DH has initiated going out once, my boys were at my mom's for something I had to do the next day and he said "why don't we go out to eat" (nice place!) But usually I have to arrange the child care, plan where we're going and everything else in between.

    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:18 PM on Mar. 27, 2009

  • He makes the plans more often than I do because he has a more complicated schedule and he has more money. I feel weird making plans to do something if I can't afford to pay for it. So he more often takes me out to dinner or concerts, etc. I make him dinner often or will ask him to a movie once in awhile. He knows that so he asks me to do things about 75% of the time.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:17 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • my bf and i usually pick things to do but it makes me so mad that he can use the excuse well im a guy we dont think of these things and i always tel him what i want or dont like and then he does it but i tell him if you really wanted to hold me or whatever it is you would do it without me having to tell you being a guy is not an excuse but hes very loving and affectionate
    missy9

    Answer by missy9 at 11:03 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • Just consider yourself lucky that you get that alone time lol... my DF and i dont even get alone time and with another baby on the way its just going to make it that much harder. woohoo go me!
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 6:15 PM on Apr. 5, 2009

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