Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Molested by 17yr old brother

3 wks ago my friends 12yr old daughter told me her older bro had been molesting her for mos. I told mom & the D came to stay with me cause she didn't want to be @ Hm any longer. Mom believed her & totally embraced her son. She told me she was more worried about him than D. I finally reported it to authorities & D is still with me as of now. They came out did report she told them what happened(thank God) I don't know what happened @ moms house we never heard anything. Mom has 2 more younger girls there. Today she called her mom & mom told her to never call again she turned on her family. 12yr old is feeling bad now like she caused it, how do I help her now? I'm sick that her Fam is now blaming her & I for telling. Bro also has touched 2 of her friends that slept over & her 15yr old sis who is denying it. Her mom expected her to keep quiet & not say shit!! I'm fuming mad! Is this sick or what?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • It's typical. I wish there was something we could do to help. :(

    Answer by MommyHess at 1:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • that happened to one of my friends when she was 11 and her bro was 17. parents found out and reported him and kicked him out of the house. thankfully he never tried to do anything to me. i would have prob kicked him in the nuts lol. my mom was molested and raped as a child so she always told me what was right and appropriate touching and what is bad. i just feel sorry that that happened to her. i never knew until after the fact because she never told me. its discusting how sick some people are. thats insane tthat she wants her daughter to deny that it causes so much emotional turmoil on a child and scars them for life

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • MY brother did that too me as well and I totally despise him for it. I cant even hear family talk about him when I am around without curling my toes in disgust. The thing is my family turned cheek as to what he did because he was "still young". Best thing to do hun is get her into some counseling to help her cop. This screwed me up big time and I never understood why my family choose that sick bastard over me and honest I still dont. Counseling is what got me through and that is so great you are there for her I had nobody and still dont. Keep being there for her and fight for especially if she loves you!!!!! Good luck if you want to talk more please just message me.

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 1:27 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • you are doing all you can...fight for this child and tell her she is not alone. If you can , get emergency guardianship and get her into some counseling. I know she doesnt want to tell anyone prolly but her school social worker may be an options. and her mom should be shot. i'm sorry , the brother does have a problem that needs help but still this is the child that was hurt. it is too typical and bless her lil heart for being so damn brave. Hug her all the time, tell her she is worth more than all the tea in china and protect her all you can momma.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 1:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • My roommate was molested by her bro when she was younger she told her parents but they didn't believe her and 2 this day she still will not talk 2 her brother I don't blame her

    Answer by Red_Mama0723 at 1:35 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You are her Godsend. Keep supporting her and being stronger than the sorry parents are. You are THEE blessing in this girls life.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 1:37 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I'm trying my best to be there for her! I'm so fucking mad at her mom. I can't believe how she's only concerned about her son & not giving a damn about the D. & to think she had the nerve to tell the Lil girl that she turned on her Family!!! Wow! It's sad & thanks for the support all you other moms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • This is totally sick. When I was younger I was kicked out of my house for telling on a friend of the family. No one believed me, thought I was just making it up. I was pretty messed up for a few of my teenage years. It's a shaking experience.
    Anyway, it's sick but it happens. The girl is very lucky to have you and your family as a fallbreaker. My advice to you is that she might not act the way you would want or that you expect from your own daughter because of what she's going through. Patience is priceless in this situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Do what you have been doing. Show her someone believes her, loves her, and cares about what happened to her. But most of all let her know its NOT HER FAULT! Tell her that her family has some issues they need to work out and that you are there for her. They have no right to make her feel that way. I hope that woman's other kids get taken away and her brother goes to jail. You have such a huge heart and your such an awesome person for going above and beyond for her...She'll remember what you did for her always and you will always hold a special place in her heart for it.

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 1:56 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Wow that is sad. I know people love all there family members and don't want to see the family broken. But she should never turn on her daughter. This is why sometimes kids do not want to come forward. They fear the family and what they may think. We need to stand by the victim always.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:22 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.