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What is best for the child??? RE: tom and Judy question

The second part of the question from earlier- This child is now 9. tom has always paid support, But this child thinks someone else is his father. It seems so unfair to Tom but how will this effect the child? Is it his right? As Tom believes.... or should the child be protected, from the truth. Lied to until they are older. would it be better then??? Or would it be worse.. knowing you were lied to when Tom was there all along. Also it states Tom's name on the birth certificate. What happens if he finds that. Or if one of the many people who know let it slip. This child also has half siblings, that he has never met. Tom feels the child has already missed out on 9 years, why should he miss 9 more. It is his right and the childs right. How could more people loving a child be a bad thing???


Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I think that he should know as soon as possible. i didn't see the original question, but the child is not being protected by not knowing that his true father is there and wants to be there. Again, I don't know all this happened. I mean how did he not get to see his son or daughter for 9 years all the while paying support and is now some how able to see the child, but I definately feel that the child deserves to know who his or her real father is.

    My bio dad left as soon as he found out my mom was pregnant. my mom married when i was about 1yr. this man adopted me when they got married and had my sister a couple years later. I did not find out that my "dad" was not my real dad until I was in 7th grade and someone introduced me as the adopted one at my great-grandfather's funeral. it didnt click for me right away, but my mom told me later that night. I know very little about my real dad.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Wow I do not know all the circumstances, but I believe the child is missing out on a lot. If the dad is there and wants to be a part I would let him. I think if the child finds out later he may resent you.

    Answer by tuesday10 at 11:06 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • i could have siblings out there. i dont know if any of his famly even know i exist. i think about it more now because i have my own little baby girl.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:26 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • It is a messed up situation, and the child would absolutely need some sort of counseling, but in the long run it is best he knows his family.

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2009