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Am i pathetic for fealing unbareably emotionally overwhelmed with 3 kids

IM 21, I HAVE A 6 YR OLD GIRL IN KINDERGARDEN 2 DAYS A WK. A 16 MONTH OLD GIRL AND 2 MONTH OLD BOY. I FEAL SO TORN BETWEEN BALANCING GETTING HOUSE CLEANED, RELAXIN, AND SPENDING TIME WITH EACH, AND NOT GOING CRAZY..I FEAL LIKE I CLEAN ALL DAY AND EVEN WHEN I CAN RELAX IM SO DAMN WOUND UP I CANT RELAX. UGGHH. I SWARE I KINDA FEAL LIKE I HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION.. OR SOMETHING... IS ANY OF MY FEALINGS NORMAL. MY SIX YR OLD IS WHINEY WHINEY WHINEY AND HAS AN OPIONION ABOUT EVERY ALFIT.. AND DINNER..AND MY 16 MONTH OLD IS CLINGY ALOT.. AND IS HAPPY MOST THE TIME THEN SNAPS AND IS SOMETIMES ALMOST UNCONSOLABLY OVERTIRED. BABY BOY IS EASY..SO FAR :)

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LifeIsSweetKW

Asked by LifeIsSweetKW at 3:59 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I think that is normal hun...I'm 21 also and I find it overwhelming with just my 14month old son and my hubby! I constantly clean after the two its like having three kids I swear. Being the same age I would suggest finding someone who you can consult in and who you can talk to often! I wish that I had friends I could run to or even family but I honestly have niether...just me and the baby most of the time 'cause hubby is working or fighting with me. If you can counseling is good to help and let your doctor know about your postpartum ok. Message me if you want to talk more! GL
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 4:34 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • First thing, talk to your doctor, it could be postpartum. Next contact your health department and see what infant support services or other programs they might have for extra support. Contact your DHS office and talk to a Protective Serivces worker, they are very aware of what support services there might be in the community. If you are worried about talking to them don't give your name. Is there anyone who can take at least one child for a little while occassionaly? I give you credit for asking for help, some don't that should, parenting is a hard job...good luck I hope this helped you.
    gammiej

    Answer by gammiej at 7:12 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • No, you are not being pathetic for feeling overwhelmed! I remember feeling that way when I had 2, 18 mos. apart by age 27! Do seek out help, either with family or friends. You need to get a break from time to time, but also talk to a health care professional if you think you may be experiencing some PPD. That could be serious! Does your DH help much w/the kids? Do you live near your mom or a sister who might could help you out occasionally? You are asking for help & that's a good thing! Just relax, sit & hold your 2 youngest ones occasionally and give them some "one-on-one" time. The main thing is, remain calm. I have raised 2 boys and I remember feeling very stressed at times. I can tell you from experience, THEY GROW UP FAST!!! It doesn't seem like it at the time, when you seem so busy, but they really do! Now all we have are memories and DH and I sometimes wish we could go back and do it all over again.
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 7:26 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Counseling could be a good idea if you think it could be PPD. Also, maybe try setting up some play dates for the older one with some friends, either so she can get away from the house, or so you can get some time to spend with other moms. Also, take a break from the cleaning sometimes & try to relax with the kids. It is good to have things clean, but if you are really stressing it is more important to take care of yourself.
    Rainbowbrite639

    Answer by Rainbowbrite639 at 8:41 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • i'm hoping its normal because i went through this when my 11m old was around 2-3m old then shortly after i found out i had ppd... maybe you should talk to your dr about it and see how he feels, maybe try some meds! i'm on zoloft still i went off of it for awhile and went back to square one so i'm on it again!!! good luck
    chloeconnor

    Answer by chloeconnor at 9:25 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL OVERWHELMED, YOU ARE NOT ONLY A MOM, BUT YOU ARE ALSO HUMAN, HANG IN THERE MOM. PICK YOUR PRIORITIES, IT IS HARD TO DO IT ALL, THE HOUSE WILL NOT GO ANYWHERE BUT YOUR WELL BEING IS AT STAKE HERE. YOU ARE STRIVING FOR PERFECTION AND THIS IS WHAT IS CAUSING YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!
    older

    Answer by older at 10:22 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Your feelings are, I believe, normal. I have three children, 25, 14 and 13. When they were younger I thought I would die! Now that they're older, they're more helpful.
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 10:41 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I think it's absolutely normal and if more women admitted to these feeling then other moms would realize that they don't have to do it all and it's okay to not feel super elated about being a mom every day.

    Anyway, if I were you, I'd lay off the housework. I had 3 kids under 3 and I did the necessities...laundry when we ran out of clean clothes, dishes when the sink got full and pick up a little clutter once a night but I didn't do any major cleaning at all until the kids were older. The house was always a wreck but it saves on the sanity.

    I learned that after I had a complete nervous breakdown when the kids were 2 1/2, 17 months and 4 months old. I was trying to do EVERYTHING and I couldn't handle it. I ended up having to send my older two away for 3 weeks so I could recuperate and that was not fun for anyone.

    Getting help for the PPD is definitely a good idea, too.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:18 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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