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What do I do when my mom sticks her nose in our business?

My mom acts like I'm 16 and I'm 31.She always tells me how to raise my daughter and my life.If I say anything to her about it, she gets her feelings hurt.She will even tell my dad and he will call me and tell me to make peace with her. I'm getting tired of it I AM 31.

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skysmom16

Asked by skysmom16 at 9:19 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • my mom is the same way. She tries to step in when it comes to my daughter and says things like "you may be her mother but I am YOUR mother" meaning she has more authority over my child than I do. Thankfully my dad usually takes my side. I have learned to ignore her for the most part. When she starts to cross the line I just remove me and my child from the situation.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 9:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • listen , but do what you feel right.

    I do that to my mil too. I hate to fight with her even though she thinks i am a worse mom and even mistreated my children half of the time. I dont' say much when she tells me what to do, i listen and i nod and i walk away. Guess what. i am doing what i feel right for myself and the children, my way or her way are right, but i choose to do it my way.
    yoshiki56

    Answer by yoshiki56 at 9:26 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • LISTEN TO HER AND THEN DO IT YOUR WAY, NO NEED TO MAKE HER UNHAPPY, STRING HER ALONG TO KEEP HER HAPPY, I AM SURE SHE MEANS WELL, THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WOULD BE IF THE PLACES WERE REVERSED. IT IS REALLY HARD FOR A MOM TO LET GO, BEAR WITH HER, WE ONLY GOT ONE MOM AND WE SHOULD TREASURE HER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO GET UPSET AT THINGS WE CAN'T CONTROL.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:01 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • oh wow my mom is the same way only dif is i'm 22 so wat i did was completely stop talking to her for about 2 weeks but the 1st day i typed up a letter and mailed it with no return addy i told her exactly how i felt and i told her i was 21 (that was my age at the time) and if she wanted to boss someone around she had her 16yr old dd for that, i told her that i had to live life on my own and no matter what she did or said i would do the opposite, i then told her in the letter she would not hear from me until she could tell me she would stop trying to control me! it worked for us....... if she starts being bossy or running her mouth i cut her off by saying um my life is my life next conversation please.... you may have to do something like that! good luck tho sweetie i know its difficult!!!
    chloeconnor

    Answer by chloeconnor at 10:04 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • As a mom who sticks her nose it, we don't do it to be mean. We just want to think our children still need us and value us. We're getting old and don't want to be left out. If I go too far my children don't have a problem thanking me for my input (when they thank me then I know I've hit a boundary and need to stop) but they will do what they think is right. Rightly so, we old folks had our turn at doing it our way and now it's your turn. Don't be angry with her. She just wants to feel needed.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:15 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You know, it's funny that when my mother did that to me, I would claim "She loves only that which she can control - either she's taking over my life or she backs away from me and mine completely!" I did not understand this behavior at all and it caused a lot of hurt on my part. What I didn't see until becoming a grandmother myself was how painful it is on this side, too! You know your daughter from the very core, and she really doesn't know you at all - She knows "Mom".
    I always worry in the back of my mind:
    Will she still respect me if she looks at me as a friend instead of a mom?
    Will she respect my advise as a friend or just laugh me off when I'm gone?
    And If I let her make her own choices in life and learn from her own life experiences, how will I deal with the pain that I feel from watching her experience the the consequences of her mistakes?
    Being a Mom to a Mom is nowhere near as easy as I thought it would be.
    UltimateGrandma

    Answer by UltimateGrandma at 10:20 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • welcome to the real world, parents do that my mom and dad seem to know whats best for me and i'm 37, i hate when she telss me how to raise my dd, and how to spend my money, who i should love ect.. the list goes on, i realze that tending to my business helps keep them alive, since they have nothing else better to do with there time,i just listen and say o.k and ofcourse do what i want to do. also some of what they say is true, i just don't dare admit that to them.
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 10:53 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You say thank you. Hug and kiss her for caring enough to give you advice. Just because you're 31 you think you know everything? You are her daughter and will be her daughter until the day she dies.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:30 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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