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Is it okay if my son does this?

On television, I saw a study in which kids talk about sex more than they do at home. I decided to talk to Thomas (my 9 yr old) about sex. I asked him questions and he already knew the answers. I asked him where he got the information and he said that he has heard conversasions at school between his freinds and classmates. He asked his friends what things ment and he found out. I am surprised. Should I talk to him and his friends tht it is not okay, or talk to his friend's parents about it?

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lovinlife4kids

Asked by lovinlife4kids at 10:05 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think kids are going to talk no matter what. I would definitely have had a talk with him like you did, and then remind him that friends aren't a reliable source of information on this and that he needs to come to you. I wouldn't talk with the kids, but I would talk with the parents so they know that they know these conversations are already happening and they might want to discuss sex with their kids as well before rumors become the kids sex education.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 10:11 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You should talk to him about any questions he has. That he needs to come to you about what he hears to make sure he has the correct info. Kids are going to talk and there is nothing wrong with that, it is part of growing up. You would be amazed at what is said between kids, it's hilarious. My son came home last year (6th grade) and said "Mom, I know where babies come out". Ok, I said, where? "They come out your butthole." I giggled and asked where he heard that. Well, at school. I then told him where babies really came out and he said "But that is a small place." We had a long talk after that to set things straight. I wouldn't say anything to the other parents unless you know them well. I am sure they know what is happening, they were that age too. You will hear a lot of interesting things, health class is wonderful to get imaginations going.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:25 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • i agree. i would tell your son that his friends arent right about everything. that they are only kids, and that he needs to come to you for the truth. and i would talk to the parents to let them know that the kids are having talks like this and that they might want to start the sex talk early. and if i were you, i would have a sex talk with your son about once a year, maybe a little more as he gets older. =] good luck. gosh i cant wait for my son to get that old.... ha.
    mommykayti

    Answer by mommykayti at 10:29 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I would just tell him that if he has any questions or hears anything he's unsure of or worried about, that he should ask. Keep open communication in your home about sex, and don't forget to make your personal values known - kids learn from example. But, kids are going to talk about sex. It's inevitable. I am a little surprised at how young though . . . we never talked about it until we were in 6th or 7th grade!
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • It's not just friends that you need to worry about, but once sex ed is taught in school you need to pay attention to what is being said. Kids will talk there is nothing to be done there, but if you keep the lines of communication open he will always feel free to ask you.

    I remember my DD coming home in about the 8th grade, a student asked the teacher if you could get pregnant from "back door sex"...the teacher said yes. I was flabbergasted...I corrected my DD in hopes that she 'would' pass on the correct info. After that we discussed what was being spoken about in class. No point in taking it to the principal, they defend thier teachers. SO you see missinformation can come from anywhere, make him safe in coming to you and he will.

    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 11:31 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Just make sure he understands that there is a lot of bad information out there. Don't depend on the schools to teach him the right information. They do too little, too late. He needs to know that you have probably heard anything he can say and won't be shocked.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 3:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Kids will talk, but they need accurate answers, not hear say. I would definatly talk with his friends parents. And talk to your son or rent something if your not comfortable, or have his dad talk wih him. they need to know to come to you for any info! I heard they are trying to pass something so kids start sex ed in kindergarden. So it is never to early. the more you talk about it the more they know, and the less uncomfortable they will be about talks later. Good luck... and remember parents are the best teacher!! teach them sex ed like you would anything else to prepare them for life!
    muzikgrl477

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 4:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Talk to your son only not the friends, that's not your place. If you want to talk with the parents, that's fine but you can only control information at home.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • kids are going to talk about it regardless of who you discuss this with. The best thing to do now is to make sure your son knows all there is to know about the cons of sex at his age, so that he knows and can stay safe.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:50 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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