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Do/will you talk to your kids about sex?

Sex is a big deal to kids from ages 7 +. That's right. I said 7. Kids are learning about it from sources that are not us (their parents). So, do you now or do you plan on having the talk about sex with your children? What will/do you tell them? Will you preach abstinence as the only way, or will you give alternatives (teaching safe sex)? Will this be from your religious perspective or life perspective?

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jennijune_21

Asked by jennijune_21 at 10:38 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • I started having sex at 11... And regularly at about age 13... My hubby was a bit slow in that area and was like 15 or so... I don't plan on ever having "the talk" with my kids. They are only 2 and 3 now but we have never really hid our affection from the kids and are always very open about sex. Now, we don't let them watch or anything, but it isn't something we feel should be hidden and dirty. We plan on teaching our kids from little up that your body is yours and you only do what YOU want with it. We will not be teaching abstinence as it goes agains my beliefs (personal not religious) but will teach safety. I will teach them that if she's under the AOC stear clear and that you don't always know where they've been so make sure you use protection.
    IMO, sex is a gift and should be experienced, not shyed away from in fear... I hope to raise my kids with an open and healthy view of sex.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:48 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I started talking about it with my kids way before the age of 7. In a very casual (not sit down for the big talk) way. Just as their body's, I talked about it in a very casual way. Taught them that they don't have anything different from anyone else, so there's no need to go flaunt it like theirs is different. Talked at length about the reasons to wait for sex. Most of those reasons are emotional impact, secondary was the physical implications. Both my kids were in college when they first had intercourse. Yes, the are very open with me.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:49 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I will absolutely teach my children to wait until marriage. This is not only because of my Christian faith, but also just simply because I want for them to have the blessing and gift of giving only themselves to their spouse.
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 10:50 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Yes, its not going to be a taboo subject in our home.
    Sex is nothing to be ashamed of just like bodies arent. We will discuss it openly and answer whatever questions the boys come up with.

    We will teach them to use protection and that sex is something to be kept between two people who love each other. Its something to not do until you are mature enough, responsible enough, and emotionally, physically, mentally ready to do and accept any consequences that may come of it.

    It would be awesome if they waited for marriage but Im not gonna go around in a fantasy world and pretend that will happen absolutely. If I had my druthers they would be married or at least, in their mid-late 20's(like their folks were)before they had it but only time will tell.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 10:52 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • My 12 year old was pretty much oblivious until he started middle school. We are very open with each other and he feels very comfortable coming to me with anything he hears and questions.

    hdb

    Answer by hdb at 10:54 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • The body, procreation, and physical pleasure have always been topics I discussed with my daughter, from a very early age. Children become aware of their bodies as toddlers, then they become aware of the fact that different people have different bodies. I have always encouraged my daughter to have a healthy understanding of sex for what it is and what it can be. She has known where babies come from since before she went to school, understood that sex is something that post-pubescent people engage in for physical pleasure or emotional connection for many years & I have answered questions about terms and acts that she has heard about from various sources. Sex is part of life & I have never (actively) tried to keep select parts of life out of her knowledge.

    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 10:55 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • My children are adults with children of their own but I started young giving them just bits and pieces and building a foundation so that when they totally understood what I was saying at adolescent age it wasn't awkward for either one of us. However, keep in mind we can preach until the cows come home about abstinence but peer pressure is overwhelming and their desire to fit in as well. Not to mention media influence such as videos and music and that 13 yr old boy in England who fathered that baby getting all the attention and money glorifying what he did. It's really hard to get them to understand what's right when there is so much in the world challenging our words.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • As for these questions: Will you preach abstinence as the only way, or will you give alternatives (teaching safe sex)? Will this be from your religious perspective or life perspective?
    I don't believe in abstinence & have always stressed the importance of taking precautions. And everything I teach my daughter comes from a life perspective & much of it is influenced by my religious perspective. Some of the discussions about sex grew out of religious beliefs, but my daughter does not share my religous beliefs so now it is more about life.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 10:58 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • My DH and his ex have talked to the bonus kids about sex. Now, their mother has the perspective of abstinence only. I think this is not only unrealistic, but foolish as well. Although more kids today are choosing to remain "pure" until marriage, there are an even higher number that are still having sex on a regular basis.

    I do believe in teaching them that waiting until marriage is the best option, but I think that rejecting the concept of safe sex outside of marriage is not wise. And, honestly, if I taught my children that, it would be quite hypocritical on my part.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 10:59 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • jennijune: Why is it foolish and unrealistic if you feel it's the best for your kids?? Our standard is to wait til marriage, and I absolutely will not cheapen the importance of that for my kids. Sure, it's their decision, and if they choose to go against our teachings, we will help them overcome any pain associated with their decision.
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 11:03 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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