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porn

ok so ive told my dh from day one i dont care if he watches porn(although he usually doesnt watch it) but ive always said if he watches id like to know,just dont try to hide it. well we were talking about something and he let it slip that he watch some online last week. i was annoyed that he just didnt tell me,he said well its not like i was trying to hide it. later i was curious to what kind he watch and looked at the history,he deleted it after he watched it! if he wasnt trying to hide it why would he delete it? i asked him and he got mad and it turned in an argument. i really dont care if he watches it,i like it too.he says i shouldnt be upset and its no big deal,if thats true the why wouldnt he just tell me like we agreed when we first got together?should i be upset?would u?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • It's possible he wasn't comfortable with you knowing about it.
    DaffodilFae

    Answer by DaffodilFae at 11:16 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • OP---i know thats not it,i even asked him that. we are very open with each other about that kind of stuff,always have been.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • The bigger deal you make, the more he will watch behind your back. If you are truly okay with it, you won't expect him to tell you every time he does. As far as deleting the history, I tell my dh to because of the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I almost think it is the same as someone seeing my vibrator. The dude knows I use it cause I have sent him videos, but I still hide it when he comes over. I wouldn't argue about it but maybe say in a joking way "I would have liked to watch it with you next time" Then he won't feel so ashamed of watching it. :)
    dakotaNrye

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 11:21 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You should be greatful that he was just looking at porn on the internet and not out at some seedy strip club.. or picking up a prostitute. Why is it a big deal for him to look at porn on the internet, why do you need to know? I don't really understand that. I don't think its appropriate for you to expect a grown man to come say "Hi honey, I jacked off to porn today". Lets be realistic here..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • OP--i do watch it with him,that why i know hes not ashamed of watching it,i have no problem with porn,i like it too. and its just us and our dd(5month) so nobody else would see the history
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Now it looks like he's watching porn alone and doesn't want that part of his privacy exposed. Even though you say you both enjoy watching porn together and are very open, he wants to enjoy some of it alone.
    DaffodilFae

    Answer by DaffodilFae at 11:28 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • you do have a problem with it, why do he need to tell you every time he watches porn?????????? you can't control everything the man do, that was an argument you could have avoid, if you enjoy them why not watch with him??/ hell surprise his ass with something new keep up with his interest, don't knock it and you enjoy it as well, i just think you are trying to control him and that's not going to happen, you should just let this man do the porn thing, the more you put all thoes stipulations on him the more he might try to hide them from you!
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 11:36 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • It sounds like you do have some kinda of issue with porn.. (hey i do to! but i admit to it! lol)
    Its not right to say yes you can do something but you must report to me after you do it. Would you call him right after masterbating to tell him if thats what he wanted? probley not. Self pleasure is personal. Its just odd to have to report to your partner like that.. I think how he brought it up was perfect, it came up in conversation & he talked about. You blew it out of proportion. Now he isnt going to want to talk about it ever most likely.
    Maybe you should examine yourself a lil' more & talk to your man about it more. because if you were totally cool with it, you wouldnt need him to tell you about it. :)
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 11:53 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • He was trying to prevent your computer from being spammed. When something stays in your computer's history, your ISP stays in the history of the place from which he downloaded it and it can get sold to an advertising company.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 12:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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