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Ok, I am in a LD relationship with someone that I have known for about 5 years and we are still together. We live apart as we are both service members but will be stationed together again at the end of this year. We are thinking of taking it further and have talked about getting married in the future. I have two kids(who he loves) and my mom thinks I will always be single and that I should not date, etc. In fact, when I come back to the states with the kids, she already has a plan of moving in with us! I know she is just trying to help but we see things very differently. By the way I'm 29 years old....just thought someone may ask that. So how do I tell my mom that he will be in my kids lives? Yes, I understand single people with kids date and get married all the time, but she is not going to take this well. ---continued---

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • When I told her that the kids and I were getting stationed overseas, her solution was for me to get out of the Army and work at Wal Mart and she would support me and the kids. I have a very good career in the military that I love so that was not happening for me. Then she said I caused her to be very depressed and not be able to eat or get out of bed! So this is really bothering me. I love him and he loves me and my kids but I'm afraid she will go off the deep end. She knows he and I talk all the time and hang out on leave together but has made it clear that is as far as it should go. Any advice is appreciated but please no bashing!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Don't let your mother control your life She sounds like a difficult one to understand you're a grown woman and she's worried her little girl will be taken from her. I don't know but it seems as if she's threatened by the prospects of you getting together with a man. Try and wean yourself away from her. Don't allow this woman to take over you and also make sure that you DO get the happiness you want.

    Answer by DaffodilFae at 11:24 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • as long as you trust this man with your babies, then i see nothing wrong with you having your own life. you can't always please momma! she will understand, eventually you need your own happiness she's had her live, raised you now it's time fro her to step aside and allow her adult baby to grow. you sound like you are more concerned with pleasing your mom then having your own happiness. time to let go and cut the apron strings, yes you will always need your mom however you want a life outside of your moms wings, fly little one fly. good luck

    Answer by mememommie at 11:31 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Speaking as an old and lonely grandmother, she's just not wanting to be alone. She'll be fine as most of us are. We just feel left out sometimes. My mom always wanted me single and living with her so I could serve her and she could control me. I let that happen for far too long. Don't do that. Live your life for yourself. You will be fine. She'll be fine. Tell her to date and find a life of her own (find a nice way to put it though!) My dd keeps telling me when she marries her bf (in Iraq) that I have to go live with them. NO! I am fine. I do get lonely but I'm not going to go be a burden to them and we moms can be a burden to grown children! Just be honest with her. Give her time to adjust to the idea before it really happens.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • my mother did the samething when i got divorce. she told me if i can stay single for the rest of my life it would be better and i am 42 with three teenagers. she would love it if the kids and i would move in with her and take care of my dad who has alzhiemer for her. i finally had to learn to speak up to her and said i am still young enough to still want a life with a man and be happy. i don't want to have to put myself and my kids in a situation where they think everyday they come home from school all they do is listen to grandma telling them to help with grandpa or whine about everything they or i do. my mother is very judgamental.

    Answer by lily7 at 12:00 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Wow this sounds like my mom!! I am almost 26 with 4 kids, 3 of which are the man that i live with kids!! We are not married but I was married to my daughters father and my mother has made it very clear that she does not like my BF because I had to move 1300 miles away from her so me and our kids could be with him!! She always threatins me that I better not EVER marry him cause she will not support my decision!! You gotta do what you gotta dont let anyone else make your desicions for you!! good luck

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 2:31 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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