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When is it wrong?

So, im seperated from my SO. Everytime when we get together i feel like im in bondage. We been together for 4 years, and 2 out 0f 2 we been on and off. I mean the times we been on and off i went back in solely because i didnt want to feel alone but this is the third time and i dont have a choice to make my mind now because hes starting to get impatience. Now hes a good man but i think im falling for another. I mean i dont want to settle with him but im having a good time. I like the attention and i dont know why i dont feel the same about my SO no more. Am i wrong? I mean i want to be married but not now. We have 2 kids and he wants to settle but i dont, i think i still want to taste the waters. I just feel bad when he wants to do so much for me but behind his back im talking with other guys. (havent slept with none of them!) Am i wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You are wrong to stay with someone you don't love that your'e not married to.
    It's not fair to him. Gently let him go so he can find someone that can love him the way he needs and deserves. That's the right thing to do
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You're not wrong, your a perfectly normal woman who's dating. The only bond you have with that man is your children. That's it. You don't have to date him, marry him or even love him. You are expanding your personal life and that's a good thing. Too many women jump into relationships and realize it was a mistake simply because they didn't want to be alone. You recognize that and you seem like you know you don't want commitment right now, so enjoy the company of these men as friends and maybe it will lead to a life-long partner with one of them.

    Just don't feel like you have to answer to the baby's father. You owe him no explanation or need to tell him who are you are seeing. It's none of his business. If he's impatient, then just be forward with him and tell him you are no longer interested in him but would like to be friends for the sake of the children. If he's mature he'll understand and let it go.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:12 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I think you guys should stick to being friends with benefits .You dont love him you just dont want to be alone and you feel more close to him because you know his games and you have kids .Stay living seperate and tell him that you are not ready to commit to him yet .ANd be clear in telling him that he needs more growing up to do .Test those waters see what is out there ,but dont make him feel that you are with him and test the waters at the same time thats wrong .My ex lives in my house because he has nowhere to go it hurts but i am honest with him .He is doing everything he can to become a better man but i just dont love him anymore .
    hush84

    Answer by hush84 at 1:33 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Wrong to stay and lead him on. Wrong to have had his kids. So incredibly wrong!
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • And I wouldn't sleep with him anymore, if you are. The last thing you guys need to do is make more babies.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Being single is when you do need to be out enjoying being with and getting to know other men. He'd hate it if you did it when married! If you are not ready for marriage then just say no. How can he expect you to take vows and commit to him if you still want to see other men? However, I agree that you should probably stop having kids with him or anyone until you know what you want. Not bashing, just being fair to everyone especially the kids.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:12 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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