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How do I deal with my husband going on to dating sites looking to find some one, when he tells me he loves me and doesnt want to be with anyone else?

I had problems through out my pregnancy starting with dehydration, preterm labor and others. I kept going in and out of the hospital and on and off bed rest. That was when he signed up for these sites. When I confronted him about it he claims that he doesn't know why he did it, that he was just looking for some one to talk to. When I told him he could come to me he ignored me. I just need help trying to figure out what I should do. I left thinking it would be in my son's best intrest not to be in this situation. I regret it. I want my son to have a father but I dont know if I can handle much more of this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Very odd. Why wouldn't he just come to you if he was lonely?
    Make sure you don't get lead on. I know where your coming from though.

    He took vows, he needs to stick with them.
    Why on earth he would go and get on a dating site? We will probably
    never know. I say communication is the best medicine.

    Easier said than done.
    kylesboo

    Answer by kylesboo at 3:01 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • counseling? couples therapy?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Some men are attracted to the lure of the hunt. Some want to know if they can still attract women. There are all sorts of reasons. I'm not married to my SO and I couldn't stop him even if I were. He is addicted to those sites. His ego needs it I guess. I don't think any man will stop unless he truly wants to stop. So I guess it's all up to your dh.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Lonely or not, it is completely inappropriate for your husband to be visiting dating sites. I think you're right for leaving and not exposing your son to this situation. If your husband truly loves you and wants to work it out, he needs to initiate the steps to get counseling to solve his problem, whatever it is. And remember, if he refuses to change or do anything about it to prove his committment to you, you deserve to be happy by yourself or with someone else, and your son can still have a father.
    moniquinha

    Answer by moniquinha at 3:08 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I don't think he was looking for someone like that..I think it was more of a sexual hunt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • If your leaving didn't wake him up, nothing will. Why would he want to give up his wife & new baby for some stranger ... just because it's new & exciting? Give me a break! You can do better!! You don't want him to be an example for your son anyway. Take him for everything he's got!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I may get bashed, but I don't think you ever stay in an unhealthy relationship for the kids.
    hdb

    Answer by hdb at 3:11 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • wow what a jerky selfish thing for him to do. My DF did that too .. .He needs to grow up & stop NOW. Before it goes to far
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 3:17 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Wow when you needed him the most he choose to go in a totally inappropriate direction. Nobody can tell you what to do but if you stay he needs to get some therapy to get to the bottom of why he did that. If it were me I would leave. I have learned through life experience that once someone does this they have usually done it before and never got caught till now or they will do it again.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I wish I had done counselling insetad of sticking it out. Get counselling for yourself it will teach you how to talk to him and give you choices to think about plus ways to go about those choices. My husband disrespected me too while I was pregnant in other ways and since then. i wasted a lot of years. Respect first your childlren then second respect yourself and third your husband. If some one had told me that I'd be better off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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