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What do you do when you catch your 10 year oldaughter on top of your 9 year old sister and they tell you they saw it on t.v. . I limit my daughters acess to certain shows but not everyone else shares my views on this matter my younger sisters father and my mother could careles what they watch. My husband feels that a steamy t.v seen is okay as long as they are not naked why worry. Well guess what today I am worried. Some body please help me. All could was spank and seperate the two.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (12)
  • Why would you spank them for that? I mean, I understand the concern but I don't think spanking them, especially since it was a rash decision will work.

    Kids experiment it's normal and sometimes parent's don't even know about it. You need to talk to them about what they were doing, if they understood what it meant, etc. Explain to them that adults do that when they are in love etc. You should talk them about it, and ensure that everyone respects you values and doesn't allow them to watch things you find inappropriate. This might be a good time to have the sex talk as well.
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 3:19 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • O.K were they rough playing or was it sexual? If it was just rough play then that is that. If it was sexual then spanking won't help. You need to set them down and explain why that is unacceptable and some of the consequences of promiscuous sexual behavior that is never talked about on T.V.  They need to understand that T.V is no where close to reality and in the real world there are consequences for actions.

    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 3:23 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I agree about the not spanking, but that's just MY parenting style. You should talk with them and tell them WHY you don't approve of it. Tough situation....I know....sometimes we just freak out and react in ways we normally would not. It's truly okay....sit them back down....if need be apologize for the way you acted and then talk with them about why you feel the way you do and that it's inappropriate action also ask them if they have questions about sex....that might answer a lot of questions for them. I wish you the best.

    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 3:29 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I agree they were prob just playing around. A good talk should do in this situation.
    Me2dznb

    Answer by Me2dznb at 3:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • If you didnt talk to them about it regardless of what the insident was they will learn nothing anyways, except i get spanked when mom is upset.. they don't know what the actually punishment was for. I agree with the above comment that you need to sit them back down, tell them that mom is sorry for over reacting... and that sometimes in life you react with out thinking, and that that is okay as long as you correct it. Apoligize and explain the reasons that it bothered you. Only adults show love that way, second siblings don't show love that way. plain and simple. at this age it is natural to "experiment" and i think that they atleast understand a little of the sex thing, maybe not details. But i would assume you know if it was rough housing or not. Kids tend to be embarresed if they no at all that what they are doing is indecent. and yes.... great time for a sex talk if that was the case. good luck... and it is all natural.
    muzikgrl477

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I agree, dont spank them sfor something like this. Obviously they didnt know it was wrong and are just curious. Explain that only adults do this kind of thing, not little kids, and not for playing. It is not appropriate and if they have questions they need to come talk to someone about them and not try to figure it out on their own. But if they knew you would react like that it is probably why they didnt come to an adult in the first place. Kids get embarassed about stuff like that and you need to have the lines of communication open, not make them feel ashamed and like they are in trouble, because the bahavior will jkust continue and you can only blame yourself. I woud go have a talk with them before you do anything else and hope the damage can be undone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Was it meant to be perceived in a sexual way? If so, then I wouldn't spank them-- I would talk to them about it. They're young and I'm sure don't know that if it was meant to be like sex, then that's something that grown-ups do and not nice little girls. They're probably curious. If they want to know what it is, tell them-- but make sure they know that they shouldn't do that (not by yelling, etc. but by explaining the situation to them). Just let them know that sometimes people on TV aren't very smart and do bad things and that they don't.Make sure they know the situation.
    Emma1017

    Answer by Emma1017 at 6:18 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • spanking was certainly inappropriate and clearly you over reacted no matter what they thought they were doing. I'm sure they are totally confused as to what they were punished for. I think you should have spoken to them about appropriate behaviors and that the behaviors they displayed were for adults and not children. I'd tell them that it's an example of what they should report to you if someone tried to do that to them. Make it a learning experience not a punishable crime. Now you probably got them so confused and possibly excited that they are totally devoid of any learning from the experience. So you basically punished them for what someone allowed them to see on tv. Spanking? that was just wrong on so many levels.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:09 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Start talking to them about sex. I know i am going to get grief for saying that but my mother talked to not only me (about my body at 5yrs old) and my sister (around the same age) and at first i thought it was weird and icky but when things started happening and i had questions i knew that i could go to her and feel confident. I also knew that epecially when i got older that knowing is better then not. I have a lot of friends that parents didn't tell them anything and when they started having adult feelings, periods and such they didnt know what to do or who to turn to. I think that you should have the special but awkward conversation now before they go to their friends and get bad information or listen to their little boyfriend or girlfriends and end up with a std, pregnant or worse.
    punamai

    Answer by punamai at 12:13 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

  • I think you went over board by spanking them. They saw it on T.v. and they were curious ,I'm not saying it was right but you should have talked to them and told them that it was inappropriate behavior and that you do not want to ever see that again. Then if you do see it again Then I would spank. I would talk to the rest of the family and let them know how you feel about them watching certain programs on TV.
    FTBALLMOF2BOYS

    Answer by FTBALLMOF2BOYS at 6:14 PM on Mar. 29, 2009

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