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My daughter wants us to get rid of our nephews

2 months ago my 4/5 year old nephew's were apprehended by child protection and placed with my dh.

My 2 youngest are a soon to be 13 year old girl and a 16 year old boy who live with their dad.Normally they come for dinner on Tuesday nights and Kailee will spend Friday/Saturday nights with us.

They both have their own rooms here, but as we were talking about becoming foster parents with both children before, Kailee was agreeable to sharing her room with a *sister* so we put the bunk beds in there.

We got the boys within a week and Kailee was agreeable to sharing her bedroom with them. babysitting so we could catch a quick nap

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Asked by gothlingmom at 6:35 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (14)
  • i dont understand what the question is....

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • 537anon I second your statement. ??????

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I don't think she's done.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 6:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • then she needs to come back and finish

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • :|

    Answer by lizzeh at 7:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • sorry, didn't post the rest of what I was saying
    We'd even pay her for babysitting and helping out. She was always asked, and it as never expected.
    The last couple of weeks she's been getting crankier, and mouthy, ignoring me and walking away from me when I try to talk to her, She's been blowing up at the littlest thing and very very moody.

    At first we've put it off as pms and just the stress with all the changes, but it's getting worse and worse, with last night having her flip out about not being able to find a pencil. I tried to talk to her and she walked out on me, to go back to her dads.

    I tried calling her today, and she woudlnt' even talk to me on the phone, so I just got back from her and her dad's place trying to talk to her for a hour.

    Bottom line is she's expects me to get rid of the boys. She no longer wants to share her room, and is mad at me for all the attention I pay to them, and how it's all about the b

    Answer by gothlingmom at 7:20 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Ok hun I dont know if you realiz or not but it cut you off again. I am going to offer my opibnion on the details you did give though. I think it would be best if you gave her her room back. I know you said your son doesnt spend as much time over there and stuff, and I would probably put the nephews in there instead. Your son is alkmost an sdult too, so I would talk to him about it first and just see if he can do it to help you out a little. Also I think your daughter and you need to go spend some time together by yourselves. Maybe instead of taking anap have your dh keepo the nephews and go out for a walk or to dinner with your daughter. I know these kids are your nephews and not technically your kids, but she sounds like she is having some sibling rivalry. Mom never had a kid younger than her and now these 2 boys are taking over her room and her moms time. But you cant put these boys off on someone else with good conscinc

    Answer by AK_aries at 7:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • conscience either. Does dd know why you have custody of them? Mabybe try to explain it to her and get her opinion on what the right thing to do would be, it may help her to be a little more accomodating. Make a real effort to keep the routine normal and things may get better for her. If you lok at it from her point of view it has got to be hard. She now has these 2 boys in her room all the time that she isnt even there for the most part, she is having to go from the youngest to one of the oldest, and feels like she has to help but doesnt really want to. Has no where to go to talk about it and if she is like alot of kids from divorced families she is probably going to her dad's to escape the situation. Keep trying to talk to her and when you do get her opinion and try to keep an open mind about it and help her adjust beter.

    Answer by AK_aries at 7:31 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Although i agree that she needs her room back, i feel she also needs to learn a bit about family, and life. I would not hand off two family members because my daughter stomps her feet just as if these were her siblings you couldn't. I am not in your position, so this might be easier said than done, But she does need her own room. and her own time with mom. and time away from the responsibility that she did not take much as it would help, she should not be made to babysit. She needs to be a kid. you are so great to take this on and i wish there were more parents like you! i wish you the best, hope i have helped in some way.

    Answer by muzikgrl477 at 7:36 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Thank you :) No, I didn't realize I was cut off again lol but it basically said that her father, her and i have decided that one day on the weekend her and I will spend some dd/mom time together. It's not like I haven't offered before, but this time I'll really try to get her to do something.

    Yes she knows why the boys are here, and she knows what happens if we give them up. She doesn't care.

    We also have a new room mate who has taken over my son's room. My son doesn't mind since he's here only one day a week and he prefers the couch or his step brother's room anyways since Josh is gone most of the time.

    The roomie was also totally unexpected, but with him, it will allow us to rent a big house with bedrooms for everyone.

    Answer by gothlingmom at 7:37 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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