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Kind of a hypothetical question about child custody

Okay if you have children with someone, that you were never married to, and you want custody of them can you just take them like if they were to come over and visit can you just not let the mom have them back? Because I always thought that there had to be a court order showing who has full and legal custody, now what about if there was child support ordered and it shows the mom and the custodial parent is that the same thing? I am just curious about how all of the stuff works


Asked by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It depends on your state. In my state if a child is born to an unmarried woman...the mother and the father have EQUAL rights until one files for custody. This means that the father can take the child and there's nothing the mother can do. Trust me, I nkow from experience. I let my son go visit his dad and he said he wasn't giving him back. I called the cops and they said do you have a parenting plan? I said, no. He said then there's nothing we can do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • When children are born to a unmarried woman, the mother is automatically the legal and custodial parent of the child. If there is no order saying that you must stay in a county etc. then you can move with the children. Now, if there is set visitation, then that could change things. Also if there is joint custody, that changes things. In my situation, I was not married to the father, there was child support set up but no set visitation, I got married and moved across the country with no issue because he never saw her and nothing was legally keeping me there.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 8:19 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • yes if there is a child support order then it is the same thing as saying mom has custody. Or even if she has a DHS case (like food stamps or state medical insurance) it says mom has custody. But other wise, if mom and dad lived together, and one of them was to move out they would have to go to court and file for custody (or childsupport) otherwise when the other parent came by they could just keepo the kid. A friend of mine had this hapen, she dropped her son off at his dads while they were seperated and before custody was established, and she had to go to the daycare and call the cops to get her kid back. The daycare called his dad, but the cops even said that it depended on who PHYSICALLY was holding the child when they got there on who could take the kid. So she had to hold him the whole time untill they got there and they let her take him and she imediately had to go to the court house to file for custody to keep it fr

    Answer by AK_aries at 8:21 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • from happening again. Why would he want to keep the kid though. If the mom is doing something wrong he needs to go file to ammend the custody agreement and get the kid, not play dirty cause it hurts the kid too.

    Answer by AK_aries at 8:21 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • child support is diff then custody---laws about custody are diff state to state---my son was born in fla where a singler mother has assumed full custody, we moved to va where that is not the case, so i filled and went to court and got a court order for full custody

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:27 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I may be wrong, but feel that most children should be with their mother. Things are changing though. I live in Michigan, my ex talked about getting custody only because he would look bad if he didn't want the kids. He didn't care about what was best for the kids. Before anything was in writing and assuming I had custody, I let him take the kids a couple of times. My lawyer had a fit and said he does not have to return them. She could have told me sooner. So I stopped the visits, not telling him why. I didn't think he knew about the law and he wasn't going to hear it from me. His family had a fit. They were rich idiots who thought they were better than I was. His dad called and said you are going to let "idiot" take the kids Saturday and I am going to let you keep the house. CONT....

    Answer by LoriW at 10:45 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • CONT...My response was I thought the son was the bigger idiot, guess not. I told him I understand how hard it must be to remember things at your age, but try real hard and you may remember that the house is mine, and if you contacted me again I will file a PPO. I didn’t take my eyes off my kids, didn’t even let them go to school during the few days it took to get it in writing that I had custody. Then I told the Idiot why I wouldn’t let him see them. He was mad because he would have looked so good in front of his friends if he had them. It was just the battle he liked, it wasn’t long before he totally lost interest in them, just as when he lived in my house. All states are different, find out the laws in yours.

    Answer by LoriW at 10:46 PM on Mar. 28, 2009