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New mom anxiety

Ever since becoming a first-time mom 4 months ago I am riddled with anxiety about my ability as a mother. Am I doing all the right things for Ellie? Am I interacting with her enough? Am I interacting with her too much--overstimulating her? Is she properly bonded to me? Is she too attached to me? She is happy and healthy and her little face lights up and smiles when she sees me, so I'm assuming I must be doing something right. Still, I can't shake this near-constant anxiety... I feel like my chest has an anvil on it, my shoulders are up around my ears and my stomach is in knots. I'm trying really hard to relax and go with the flow as I know my anxiety can't be good for Ellie. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is this a normal "new mom" thing?? Any advice on how to deal??

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kittykat6

Asked by kittykat6 at 8:43 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • Very normal as long as you aren't letting it affect you every day. I was very nervous to because I had a lot of judgmental family members hanging over my shoulder. If she is happy and healthy then you are just fine you can not spoil her so young. Try getting the what to expect the first year book I love those books and they helped me with everything!!! and i do mean everything from sex to baby anxiety to eating for you and her nursing everything! Talk to finds often and a lot. Try to get people's opinions on your parenting perhaps and ask for tips and help on things you are unsure of. I am here if you would like to talk more I can lend a few tips from my own experience. My son is 14 months now.
    Bugsmommy1908

    Answer by Bugsmommy1908 at 8:50 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You can relax and enjoy your little gift. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and that she is a content, happy and healthy baby. I think all of us have a little fear at first but don't worry that is perfectly normal. And better that you worry about being a good mother than not care at all! All old wives stories will testify that if your child is happy, eating, sleeping and going potty regularly then all is well:-) Really, she needs all the same things that you do, so don't let the hype bog you down with unnecessary concerns, Have Fun!!! This is the best time of life~

    lilhoney

    Answer by lilhoney at 8:58 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • You are sweet and the fact that you are worried means you are very aware and you WANT to be a good mom! I worry that I am doing the right things, too. Don't forget that they sense your mood and anxiety, so you should try to be confident. I figure as long as I love her and give her everything she needs and talk to her, then we will be good. My daughter is 6 months now. I am sure it only gets harder as they get older, so you better relax a little!
    Indygirl18

    Answer by Indygirl18 at 9:04 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Thanks so much to all of you for your answers. Just getting that reassurance from other moms is HUGE! Because of several unavoidable moves in the past 18 months (my husband is miltary; he's wonderful and very supportive but is at work a lot and, let's face it girls, he's just not a woman) I've really felt lonely at times during my pregnancy and now as a new mom. Getting this feedback from you ladies means more than I can say!
    kittykat6

    Answer by kittykat6 at 9:09 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • Actually there is a disorder that some new moms get called postpartum anxiety/panic disorder. I myself have it. It started as Postpartum depression and then turned in to this constant overwhelming anxiety that would leave me feeling exhausted unable to relax and on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Talk therapy and or antianxiety medications can help. Some new mom anxiety is normal but if it is interfering with your life you should call your doctor. You can google it to find a list of symptoms
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 9:18 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • RELAX!

    Yes, every mom does this.

    As to bonding...it's merely BEING THERE. You will bond with her EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. You don't stop the process till you die.

    The good old Golden Rule works here as it does everywhere. Treat others as you want to be treated. That goes for baby too.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:38 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

  • I had postpartum depression that turned into anxiety and I know exactly how you feel. My chest felt tight all the time and I felt like my heart was beating really fast. I'm on a low dose of zoloft which helps a lot. My daugher just turned 4 months old and I'm almost anxiety free. Plus my midwife said it can take up to a year for your hormones to be fully back to normal so your body could be dealing with that still. It will go away eventually though don't worry hun!
    Kaitlyn0816

    Answer by Kaitlyn0816 at 11:43 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

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